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Tuesday, May 09, 2006

Yes, I'll help you give me $15 million

I decided to reply to one of those emails telling me they were giving me lotsamoney! Here's what I sent the esteemed Professor, I await his reply.

Dear Professor Soludo,

Many thanks for your email - I am delighted to hear that you will pay me over 15 million US dollars. Its a pity that the sum was not in Euros as it would be worth more but nevertheless I will accept the dollars sum and try to make to do.

Professor Soludo, I do feel it is my obligation to make you aware that I actually didn't send any email about an outstanding payment owing to me and as a clean living Catholic I could not take what did not belong to me, if you have mistaken me for someone else. Of course, if you need my assistance and would like to pay me for my troubles, well that's a different matter.

Your email brought such good news on so many fronts, not only will I receive a large sum of money for doing my Christian duty and helping someone in trouble but I also see that I will get to meet you and your lovely family eventually when you come to visit Ireland. All this is such good news as we don't get many visitors here in Ballygobackwards. It's a very small rural town you see and the Celtic Tiger never really took hold, more like the Celtic Pussycat, if you get my my drift. That may cause a slight problem in looking for the good business opportunities you discussed in your email but I'll talk to Paddy in the Post Office; he's the man who knows all that goes on in these parts so he might know if anyone has a quota for sale or if there are any good farms on the market (Mr. & Mrs. Doolally are supposed to be retiring soon, so I'll see if their quota is for sale)

Anyway, Professor Soludo, back to business (sorry I digress so much, but I'm that excited you see). As soon as you send me details of how I can help you I will get onto the matter straight away as I have quite a lot of free time these days since I sold my own quota two years ago, making enough profit to ease life for me.

Kind regards,

Curly K

PS Professor Soludo, my real name is Concepta Knots, my friends call me Curly K, will that present a problem with the paperwork which you have already drawn up?

----- Original Message ----
From: PROF CHARLES SOLUDO profcharles_soludo_govt1@yahoo.com
To: curlykfridayANTI-SPAMREMOVE@yahoo.co.uk
Sent: Tuesday, 2 May, 2006 10:18:42 AM

I have a new email address!

You can now email me at: profcharles_soludo_govt1@yahoo.com
TEL: 234-80-32273525
Our Ref: CBN/IRD/CBX/021/05
Date:2nd /May/2006
Attn: Curly K
This is to acknowledge the receipt of your e-mail as regards to your outstanding payment valued at US$15.7M Forwarded to my humble office from the Federal Government for immediate remittance in your favor. I am happy to inform you that your name was on the list ofcontractors to be paid by Central Bank Of Nigeria in this first quota payment of the year 2006, so do not see it as a mistake hence the payment hbeen approved in your name, and the payment will be made to you via an International Certified Bank Draft.
Right now the Draft Issuing Dept and the Telex Dept are making arrangement to issue a bank draft in your name worth US$15.7M, which the original copy of the draft will be delivered to your doorstep through our bankers Diplomatic Courier Service. Frankly speaking I am the Governor Central Bank of Nigeria, and I am aware that you did not execute any contract with the Nigerian Government, but you should be glad that this payment was mistakenly approved in your name, and i am the only person that knows about this.
Therefore, I want us to work as a team and claim the funds into your account whereby I will furnish you with all the necessary information and documents as regards to claiming the payment, please you should not discuss this with anybody until the original copy of the draft is delivered to you, and bear in mind that as soon as you claim the funds, I will visit you in your country for the sharing of the funds. As the Executive Governor of Central Bank, Iwant us to claim the funds into your account whereby I will furnish you with every relevant information/paper work to back up your claim. Meanwhile, I have submitted your name to all the necessary authorities in charge of transfer of the funds into your account and i assure you with utmost sincerity that this transaction is 100% risk free and legal hence i will perfect and programmed the deal in such a way that there will be no trace or problems as soon as the funds are in your account. However i will use my position as a banker to do the underground work perfectly, so you should not entertain any fear, all you need do is to follow my instructions accordingly to enable us claim the funds.
Be informed that as soon as the funds are credited into your account, I will come over to your country with my family to plan for a future investment because I will resign from office here to spend the rest of my life in your country, I will start a lucrative business with my own percentage or I can also go into partnership business with you if you can scout for any business investment that is profit oriented for me where we shall invest the money. Note that once the funds are credited into your account, I shall give you 30% of the total sum for providing an account for me, and all I need from you is to stand as the beneficiary of the funds until it is credited into your account.
Note that all the authorities concerned have your record in their file as the beneficiary of the funds, and I did all these myself to make sure that there will be no trace once the transfer is concluded, bear in mind that you are receiving this payment as if you are receiving your contract payment as a contract executed under the government of Nigeria, so you should be rest assured that this deal is genuine okay, and you do not panic as I will furnish with all the necessary information as the beneficiary of the funds.
Also note that our mode of payment is through an International certified Bank Draft worth US$15.7M, bear in mind that once the draft is delivered to you, you will have to take it to your bank and make deposit in your bank and within 48hours your bank will contact you for immediate confirmation of the funds into your account, perhaps this is just a simple due process which has to be done and this is also the same way real contractors receive their payment.
Meanwhile, I have instructed the Telex dept to issue the bank draft in your name and within 24hours your draft will be ready and you will be advised to contact our Bankers Diplomatic Courier Service for shipment of the original copy to you. Finally, I assure you once again that this deal is for real and needs utmost secrecy and confidentiality until the funds are in your account. Please call me as soon as you receive this message on my direct telephone number above or reply through alternative email address(profcharles_soludo_govt@yahoo.com).
Thanks and hope to hear from you.
Prof.Charles Soludo.
Governor Central
Bank Of Nigeria (C.B.N.)


Julie Midas said...

That's priceless! :-)

Kev said...

Ahhh, the good old 409 scam from the boys in Lagos.

Great response, its always fun wasting their time.

Keep up the good work!


P.S. Fancy sharing some of the $15 million?
Go on, you know you want to!

TheCatGirlSpeaks said...

Perhaps you should be on that Phonejacker programme that was on C4 last night? Hilarious.

Curly K said...

Lads, I can't wait to get his reply and keep the fecker going for a while! I just got fed up of receiving the bloody things so I decided I could use them for some light entertainment!

Kev said...

I of course meant "419" scam not "409".

If I had half a brain cell I might actually be dangerous. ;-)

See? Some of that 15 mill could go to getting me some lessons in something. Or something.


Anonymous said...

should just like to point out dat it would be only fair & morally correct for any good catholic coming into heaps of money to share same with de family (ever expanding as it is!!!).So kev & co. should bog off. Thanx curly k -still loves ya xxx

Anonymous said...

p.s. don't really want to offend kev & other vip 's reading de blog ,on mature reflection, as another good catholic we could all have plenty in say 1 or 2 million each? why be greedy????

Curly K said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Curly K said...

Look, being a good Christian woman I can hand on heart say that if I do in fact receive $15 million I will give Julie, Kev, CatGirl and Anon $1million each - what the heck it's only money!

ANONYMOUS - glad you recognise that some of the best Bloggerati read this blog and thus have withdrawn any potential offense :-)

Also I do have to point out that any expanding you're doing in your family is not my responsibilty - you could always chase your 'baby Daddy' for the child support!!!!!!!!!!

Omaniblog said...

A good smile...

Brave woman... Now that they know your email addresss is inhabited, you wouldn't know what they might do next.

Keep us posted so that we'll know you're alright.

Have you heard what happened to the last woman who got in touch with them?

I'd run all the anti-virus software you could afford, if I was you.

Curly K said...

Omani, what happened, please don't scare the bejaysus outta me?

Omaniblog said...

Curly K,
That's the point: you have heard nothing from her. Neither have I. I don't know anyone who's heard a word since she sent the email.

Did I really say your were brave? That was foolish of me. You are courageous, fearless and feckless.