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Thursday, January 17, 2008

Bugger, am I a skittle, bell, or a brick?

So Trinny & Susannah have come up with a new classification for womens bodyshapes and I don't fit easily into any one of them - bloody typical! They have none to fit brood shoulders, tiny tits (relatively speaking - even though they a 38C/D - 40C/D!), big belly, a massive arse, tree trunk thighs and cankles!

Might just have to send them an email to confirm just how badly shaped I am - maybe they'll add the "jesus, she's massive" label to their current list;
  • The Skittle – average size bust, slim waist, okay tummy with big thighs and chunky calves (e.g. Halle Berry)
  • The Bell – small shoulders, bust and waist, short waist with big thighs and bottom (e.g. Hillary Clinton)
  • The Pear – small bust, long waist, flat tummy, saddle bags and heavy legs (e.g. Sandra Bullock)
  • The Apple – average bust, tummy larger than bust with flat bottom and okay legs (e.g. Kathy Bates)
  • The Vase – large bust, gently curving long waist, hips same width as bust with slim thighs and legs (e.g. Kate Winslet)
  • The Column – shoulder width same as hip width with a slight waist and long legs (e.g. Nicole Kidman)
  • The Brick – broad shoulders, no waist, average tummy, flat bottom with chunky thighs and calves (e.g. Kim Cattrell)
  • The Cello – large bust, hips, bottom and thighs with slim lower legs (e.g. Oprah Winfrey)
  • The Hourglass – large bust, small and short waist, large hips and full thighs (e.g. Salma Hayek)
  • The Goblet – broad shoulders, large bust, no waist with narrow hips and long legs (e.g. Catherine Zeta Jones)
  • The Cornet – broad shoulders, small bust, no waist with slim hips and slim long legs (e.g. Cameron Diaz)
  • The Lollipop – large bust with slight waist, slim hips and long legs (e.g. Angelina Jolie)
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4 comments:

Doris said...

I don't know where I would fit .... all very well having these categories but when one is unable to look at one self and make an informed judgement (body dysphoric to a point) then it is pretty pointless.

LOL to the "jesus, she's massive" label!

ManicMammy said...

Hey K,
Watched most of this programme last night but had to switch over in the end as they were doing my head in.
Funnily enough, I too am befuddled as to which of these stoopid shapes they have come up with that fit me. Big shoulders, no tits, big arse, short but ok legs????

I just think its another sly way of getting people to purchase their books yet again. I'm not buying into it. Trinny and Susannah no more I say!

Hope you've a great weekend!

Cat said...

I have a very small bust (34B or 36A depending on the shop/bra), a little waist and large hips/thighs. I'm never sure if that makes me a pear or an hourglass, but think hourglass sounds so much nicer!

Mariya said...

Cat, you sound like either a pear or maybe a skittle. Unless you have love handles you're definitely a skittle.