I'll be back

Well contrary to recent rumours I was not away on some exotic island living in the lap of luxury, neither was I off getting drastic plastic done in some eastern european country. The truth of the matter, is in fact much more mundane. Between work commitments, problems with laptops, house-hunting (for a friend) and other things going on I simply haven't had a chance to get near my blog. The fact that my own blog hasn't been updated doesn't overly worry me, however, I do now feel guilty that I have not read my favourite blogs in far too long and now have some serious catching up to do:

• Has CatGirlSpeaks bought another new dress or two, what's the skinny on RH etc.?
• What wonders has little Grace Violetta brought into Omani's hectic life recently?
• How has Paige bounced back from the shitty time she had a little while ago?
• Is Mr. Doris still as wonderful as ever?
• How wonderful was Boston for Kev?
• Which news tidbits has JL dissected and commented upon for us?
• Has Connor bought a new people carrier?
• Did Maca bring Tayto, Lyons Teabags and Dennys Rashers back from Ireland?
• Has Winds settled back into normality after her fantastic trip down under?
• Who's baby has Kaz been babysitting recently?
• What in the world has Arse End of Ireland seen recently that has made her blood boil?

Alas I have learned a lesson from this break, that everything you enjoy in life comes with a price tag and blogging for me can enduce guilt if I don't manage to keep up to date with those bloggers I kept in regular contact with until recently! The break has also taught me how I deal with organise my life to certain extent. If I get on with things and keep going I'm good, however, if I put something off, it begins to niggle at me, inducing a feeling of guilt. Then I procrastinate a little longer, putting things off again, allowing tasks to become more arduous and guilt inducing.

So I have eventually taken the bull by the horns and logged on again. I will try to play catch up but have made a decision to take things slowly - I will try not to get my knickers in a twist to catch up with every minutiae from my favourite blogs.

Technorati Tags: Curly K Blogging Break Return

Blog News

I......

I have been tagged by Julie Midas, so here goes:

I AM:

A strong, independent woman who doesn't do girly but can be as soft as butter with the right handling!

I'm also, congenitally untidy in my house, office etc. but never my mind!

Constantly amazed by the resilience of the human spirit.

Grateful for my family and friends.

I WANT:

To stop faffing around, get my arse in gear and tidy my bedroom and organise my new mortgage and car!

To travel more, there are so many places to see and things to do.

I WISH:

That my loved ones didn't have to go through the heartache that some of them have had in the past.

That I were disciplined enough to be fitter, thinner and more organised.

I HATE:

People who treat me like an idiot or half-wit, questioning my intelligence outrages me and makes me get very uppity with them.

Housework especially ironing and hoovering.

I MISS:

My sister who lives way too far away for me to able to pop in for a cuppa.

Some of my friends who also live quite far away.

I FEAR:

Losing my independence, should my arthritis ever get worse.

How I would cope if I ever did have children.

I HEAR:

The distant sound of the traffic outside my office window and a blue-bottle fly buzzing around the window. (He won't be there very much longer!)

I WONDER:

If I'll ever meet my soulmate and have a family.

What people really think of me!

I REGRET:

Any hurt I've ever caused my loved ones, especially my mother.

I AM NOT:

The World's best housekeeper, a good singer, skinny, blonde, or dumb.

I DANCE:

Too little these days but quite well for a lardy arse when I get going!

I SING:

Lots especially in my car but not terribly well albeit better than my housemate!

I CRY:

Rarely but usually by myself.

I AM NOT ALWAYS:

As tolerant with people as I could be or as energetic as I should be.

I MAKE WITH MY HANDS:

Bugger all really but when I try I'm quite a good cook.

I WRITE:

Quite good reports and summaries for work.

Only using full words and sentences where possible in email and texts- I'm generally not a big fan of text abbreviations.

I CONFUSE:

Other people sometimes, I'm not sure if they always get me.

I NEED:

A hug and a back massage.

I also need to get fit.

I SHOULD:

Become the best person I can possibly be.

Be tidier and more organised.

Remember and be grateful for the wonderful things in my life more often.

I START:

What I finish.

To let my mind wander in work sometimes.

To dream about what can be quite a lot.

I FINISH:

Those things which interest and challenge me most, the quickest.

My sister's sentences sometimes.

I tag Doris, Conor, Omani, JL and Paige should they wish to take part, no pressure.

Technorati Tags: Doris JL Conor Omani Paige Julie Midas

Gizz a job!

Resumé of Vicky Pollard

ADDRESS: Dur – I live with my mum – init!
TELEPHONE: Yeah right, I aint givin' you my number!
EMAIL: yeh_but_no_but_yeh_but@hotmail.com

ACADEMIC QUALIFICATIONS

Yeah but, no but, yeah but, what it was right, I sat next to Kelly Smith and she totally copied off me cos I told everyone about her wanking off Kevin smith outside McDonalds but Mrs Dodson like TOTALLY busted ME for it and said I was cheating and OH MY GOD I so cant believe she did that cos anyway everyone knows she’s a lezzer.

EXPERIENCE

1996 Pregnant
1997 Pregnant again
1998 Pregnant again
1999 Pregnant again

2000 South London young offenders institute

Yeh but, no but, yeh but, no but, what it was right, I never done nothin’ right but Sharon Gordon said I stole that money from Mr Jackson wallet but I never did it right and anyway it was only 20 quid so she’s a slag and she just hates me cos I told everyone about that time when she shat herself on the bus on that school trip to Blackpool

2001 McDonalds

Responsibilities
§ Serving Burgers and fries and that
Achievements
§ Ate 12 Big Macs a day

I never spat in them burgers - they was well out of order for firing me that is so unfair! This is like, well sexual harassment! God, this is exactly like the time Miss Rennig, who everyone knows is a total lesbian, made Candice Burton stay behind after PE, started telling her off for gobbing on Sunita Geschwani's hair. But everyone knows she only made her stay late because she wanted to get off with her, cuz when she was telling her off her legs were wide open and Candice reckons she could see her spider.

2002 Pregnant again

2003 Burger King

Responsibilities
§ Serving Burgers and fries and that
Achievements
§ Ate 13 Whoppers a day - Stop giving me evils!
§ I never put tampons in the burgers - they was well out of order for firing me

2004 South London young offenders institute again

What it was right, I never done nothin’ right but Pauline Jackson said I put tampons in the burgers but I never did and anyway it was only that one time and Kevin Hops TOTALLY deserved it right cos he told everyone that I got fingered by Wayne Daniels outside wimpy but anyway he didn’t even finger me he stuck it up my arse hole and he’s just jealous cos everyone knows he’s a puff

2005 On Welfare

2006 South London young offenders institute again

Yeh but, no but, what it was right, I never done nothin’ right but Tara Watson said I nicked her stereo right but I never nicked nuthin right and anyway it was only some shitty AKAI so she’s a slag and she just hates me cos she’s a lezzer and I told everyone about that time when she got fishy fingered by Kelly smith behind the Little Chef in Brixton and anyway don't listen to her coz everyone knows her fanny goes sideways.

Technorati Tags: Vicky Pollard Resume Little Britain Humour

Dave with no ears

Dave, sadly was born without ears. This concerned him greatly but because he was a very successful businessman he could forget about it quite easily. One day he needed to hire a new manager for his company. He set up three interviews. The first guy was great. He knew everything he needed to know and was very interesting. But at the end of the interview, Dave asked him, "Do you notice anything different about me?" "Why, yes, I couldn't help but notice that you have no ears," came the reply. Dave did not appreciate his candour and threw him out of the office.

The second interview was with a woman, and she was even better than the first guy. But he asked her the same question: "Do you notice anything different about me?" "Well," she said stammering, "you have no ears." Dave again got upset and chucked her out in a rage.

The third and final interviewee was the best of the bunch, he was a young man who had recently earned his BSc(Hons). He was smart. He was handsome and he seemed to be a better businessman than the first two put together. Dave was anxious, but went ahead and asked the young man the same question: "Do you notice anything different about me?" And much to his surprise, the young man answered, "Yes, you wear contact lenses, don't you?" Dave was shocked and realised this was an incredibly observant person. "How in the world did you know that?", he asked. The young man fell off his chair laughing hysterically and replied, "Well, it's pretty hard to wear glasses with no f***ing ears!!

Technorati Tags: Humour Joke Job Interview Success

Miscellany

SAFE SEX

Driving home from a meeting down the country this evening I was listening to the Matt Cooper on Today FM. He had some lady on from the Mothers at Home group responding to some expert they had on the programme yesterday who had advocated teenagers wait till they are ready to have sex and do so in a responsible safe way. Yer wan from the Mothers at Home group came on to say that the only truly safe sex was within the confines of a marriage. Dear God, it's Curly K here, please let me get married very soon - I've waited long enough!

CHERISH YOUR WORKFORCE

It's really good to see that the incumbent Government cherishes those who work day in and out to provide its services. Bertie has now had a pop at the former Chief Executive and Management team of Aer Lingus, accusing them of trying to steal the company's assets. This follows on from Mary Harney's scurrilous remarks about nurses not so long ago as well as the continuing efforts to force, FAS workers and other public servants to leave their homes and move out of Dublin, through reduced promotion opportunities etc. Perhaps they should re-evaluate their own performances and indeed substantial payrises during their own terms of office before saying anything further. The Government's successes to date with solving the health crisis, lack of proper transport infrastructure, proper educational facilities and adequate services for our most vunerable in society etc. have hardly been outstanding. Rather farcical is a word that comes to mind when one analyses the Government's performance. However, this did not deter nice fat pay rises and ever decreasing work days in the Dail - keep goin lads, the elections are fast approaching!

LAZINESS

I also heard on the radio that somewhere in Co. Longford today a man was spotted driving his car slowly whilst wheeling one of those distance measuring wheel thingies - jaysus, that's what I call lazy!

Technorati Tags: Safe Sex Irish Government Laziness Miscellany

Shopping for Mortgages - help!

So I want/need to switch mortgage lenders for a number of reasons, trouble is I'd rather chew my arm off than shop around for mortgage deals! Working out the various interest rates, charges for switching/administration, terms of mortgages etc. must surely be one of the most tortuous processes ever invented!

If you have any tips on how to ease that process please, please, please let me know. Know of any good websites that compare / contrast / work the whole thing out for you - again please let me know. It's not that I'm thick or won't eventually work out the best value / deal for me, it's just that the whole interest rate thing bores me senseless so all suggestions gratefully received.

Technorati Tags: Mortgage Lenders Interest Rates Deals Help

I saw this and thought of you..........

The important thing is not to stop questioning.
Albert Einstein


There is more to life than increasing its speed.
Gandhi


People are just about as happy as they make up their minds to be.
Abraham Lincoln


No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
Eleanor Roosevelt


Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll land among the stars.
Les Brown


Friends are those rare people who ask how we are and then wait to hear the answer.
Ed Cunningham


The most wasted of all days is one without laughter.
E. E. Cummings


...if we wait for the moment when everything, absolutely everything is ready, we shall never begin.
Ivan Turgenev


You may be disappointed if you fail, but you are doomed if you don't try.
Beverly Sills


He who angers you conquers you.
Elizabeth Kenny


I learned that it is the weak who are cruel, and that gentleness is to be expected only from the strong.
Leo Rosten


You will never find time for anything. If you want the time, you must make it.
Charles Buxton


The supreme happiness in life is the conviction that we are loved.
Victor Hugo


Snowflakes are one of nature's most fragile things, but just look what they can do when they stick together.
Vista M. Kelly


The only place you'll find success before work is in the dictionary.
May B. Smith


Technorati Tags: Famous Quotes Life Inspiration Motivation

Found my mojo cont'd. - Mr. Right Now!

For those of you who read my previous post Found my mojo! I've decided to give ye all a quick update on what's been happening since. Contestant number three, currently re-named Mr. Right Now has kept in touch and we've been out for dinner and / or drinks each weekend since!

Don't misconstrue the name Mr. Right Now - I am not using him or simply making do till something better comes along. It's simply that right now is all I can think about. I just want to see what happens - I'm taking my own advice and taking it easy, not rushing into anything and not reading too much into the situation.

He's lovely, kind, considerate, easy-going, good company and not jealous (can't stand jealous men - as I usually say, no-one's tried to run away with me so far, I'm hardly going to become an irresistable sex siren just 'cos I happen be dating!). However, I did have to have the chat about me wanting to take things easy. I just felt he is getting more involved than I am and whilst I don't want to run scared neither do I want to hurt someone so genuine and kind. It's a delicate balance and hopefully I'm managing to keep things on an even keel at the minute.

Whilst we get on very well, the lack of things in common does concern me a little. Also, he's really quiet - which makes it quite strange that he's taken with me seeing as I could never be described as quiet - unless someone gagged me (I'm not suggesting that by the way!). That said I do enjoy his company plus I can be sure he wants to be out with me as he can't blame beer goggles etc. seeing as he doesn't really drink.

One of the things I've noticed is that my mojo is apparently still good. Whilst out on Saturday night a guy who I had a brief thing with years ago and have stayed relatively friendly with, took it upon himself to inform Mr. Right Now that I was a fantastic woman, one of the best (he did however add the proviso, "if you can tame her!" - not sure where that came from, I've never been exactly wild, although I suppose I can be headstrong!). Also, I've just been chatted up so much more than I have ever been in my life in the last few weeks and that started before Mr. Right Now. Maybe it's the fact that I am in my thirties and don't actually worry as much about what people think (of course I still do, but like in my twenties!). Perhaps you just grow into your own skin a little more.

Anyway, will keep you informed but at the moment my biggest problem is that I'm absolutely knackered - I haven't had so many nights out in a long time!

Technorati Tags: Mojo Dating Mr. Right Now Single

Photo (c); http://bighappyfaces.com

He still wants to give me money!

Dear Professor Soludo,

What a blessing to hear from you again. Are you sure that it right that we continue when the amount was mistakenly approved in my name. I know you say we must keep it confidential but if Father McDoogood was to hear of me taking money that wasn't rightfully mine he could be very upset. I would not like to do something wrong, sure there's no point in going to church every week if you are going to knowingly sin. I will pray for guidance on this matter.

You asked me for details which I list below for you information:

1) Your full names and contact address

My full name is Concepta Attracta Majella Knots


2) Your direct tel/fax numbers for easy communication.

My telephone number is 00 353 (premium phoneline number was inserted here!) but I don't have a fax number.

3) Any identification of your goodself or copy of your international passport for recognition.

Unfortunately, Professor, I don't drive as Ballygobackwards is quite a small town and everything is nearby. Also, seeing as I have never left Ireland I don't have a passport.

4)Your Bank Account information where this fund will be transfered to.

My bank is Bank of Munster, Side Street, Ballygobackwards, Co. Waterford, Ireland. The manager there is Mr. Lotaloot and he's a very kind man.

Professor, I do hope that I am doing the right thing, you are a good Christian, aren't you?

Best wishes from Ireland

Concepta Knots






Date: Wed, 10 May 2006 16:21:41 -0700 (PDT)
From: “prof charles Soludo" Subject: THANKS FOR YOUR RESPONSE!
To: "Curly K"


Dear Concepta Knots

Thanks for your willingnes to carry on this deal with me,Frankly speaking I am the Governor Central Bank of Nigeria and I am aware that you did not execute any contract with the Nigerian Government but you should be glad that this payment was mistakenly approved in your name and i am the only person that knows about it.

However, I want us to work as a team and claim the funds into your account whereby I will execute the neccesary step and furnish you with all the information needed as to claiming the payment, please keep this transaction secret and you should not discuss this with anybody until the original copy of the draft is delivered to you, this transfer deserves utmost secrecy and confidentiality with total commitment to achieving it positively.

Therefore, i shall appreciate you send to me immediately the following informations below to proceed.

1) Your full names and contact address
2) Your direct tel/fax numbers for easy communication.
3) Any identification of your goodself or copy of your international passport for recognition.
4)Your Bank Account information where this fund will be transfered to.

These informations will enable me to process all other doucuments needed to actualise this transfer in your favour, Please you should try to provide a reliable bank account where this fund will be transfered and absolute correspondence.

Awaits your response soonest.
Prof Charles Soludo.

Technorati Tags: Email Scam Professor Charles Soludo Central Bank of Nigeria Humour

20% of US$35,214,000 is how much????

Actually its $7,042,800, bless their hearts! As you can see below I got another email from a kind Zimbabwean soul living in South Africa this time. Sure, the sweet man wants to give me 20% of over $35 million, how could I not write to him! I will let you know as soon as I get a reply to either the email below or the one sent on Tuesday.

Dear Kuta,

Many thanks for your email. I was indeed surprised to hear that someone in Zimbabwe had managed to get my address from the South African Chamber of Commerce in Johannesburg as I don’t understand how important people in such a faraway place came to hear about me, here in Ballygobackwards. Also, Kuto, it seems amazing that such important people even knew my nickname Curly K. Sure I thought only my good business associates knew that, nevertheless, as you know the Lord works in mysterious ways. I just wanted to let you know that my real name is Concepta Knots in case you need it for any paperwork.

Kuto, I am so sorry to hear about your troubles, it must be especially hard for you coming from a good God fearing background. Also it must be hard to know that there is US$35.214.000.00 in a bank that you cannot touch whilst you are forced to be a refugee. It’s a sin. Kuto, I cannot believe would be so generous to give away 20% of this amount, it’s a lot of money but you are obviously a very kind man.

Kuto, I would love to help you and look forward to hearing from you soon.

Best wishes from Ireland

Concepta Knots (Curly K)

----- Original Message ----
From: kuta khumalo kuta_khumalo_006@hotmail.com
Sent: Sunday, 7 May, 2006 11:41:57 PM
Subject: MY FAMILY NEED YOUR ASSISTANCE


MR Kuta Khumalo
NO.16 ANDERSON STREET
MANDELA CRESENT.
JOHANNESBURG 2001


Dear Curly K,

CONFIDENTIAL.

My name is Kuta Khumalo the eldeset son of Mr.Joseph Khumalo of Zimbabwe. This might come to you as a surprise about where I got your contact address. I got your address from the South African Chamber of Commerce in Johannesburg, South Africa.

During the current war against the farmers in Zimbabwe from the supporters of our President Robert Mugabe to claim all the white-owned farms to his party members and his followers, he ordered all white farmers to surrender all their farms to his party members and his followers.

My father was one of the best farmers in our country and because he did not support Mugabe's ideas, Mugabe's supporters invaded my father's farm and burnt everything in the farm, killing my father and made away with a lot of items in my father's farm. Before his death, my father had deposited with one of the Security Company in Johannesburg, South Africa the sum of (US$35.214.000.00) (Thirty Five Million, Two hundred and Fourteen Thousand.United States Dollars).with my name and made every documents with my name both the certificate of depository. Then after the death of my father, we decided to move to the Republic of South Africa where he had deposited the money in the Security Company as family valuables.

So, I decided to contact you to assist me to transfer this money out of South Africa because as asylum seekers we are not allowed to operate any bank account within South Africa. We have agreed to offer you 20% of the total sum for your assistance, 5% will be mapped out for any expenses that may be incurred in the course of this transaction and 75% will be for me and my family to invest in your country. All I want you to do is to furnish me with your full personal phone and fax numbers for easy communication.

You can contact me on the above Telephone number. Note that this transaction is 100% risk free and absolutely confidential.

Thanks and God bless as I await your reply.
Best Regards,
MR KUTA KHUMALO
(For the Family)

Technorati Tags: Email Scams Concepta Knots Khuto Khumalo Humour

Yes, I'll help you give me $15 million

I decided to reply to one of those emails telling me they were giving me lotsamoney! Here's what I sent the esteemed Professor, I await his reply.

Dear Professor Soludo,

Many thanks for your email - I am delighted to hear that you will pay me over 15 million US dollars. Its a pity that the sum was not in Euros as it would be worth more but nevertheless I will accept the dollars sum and try to make to do.

Professor Soludo, I do feel it is my obligation to make you aware that I actually didn't send any email about an outstanding payment owing to me and as a clean living Catholic I could not take what did not belong to me, if you have mistaken me for someone else. Of course, if you need my assistance and would like to pay me for my troubles, well that's a different matter.

Your email brought such good news on so many fronts, not only will I receive a large sum of money for doing my Christian duty and helping someone in trouble but I also see that I will get to meet you and your lovely family eventually when you come to visit Ireland. All this is such good news as we don't get many visitors here in Ballygobackwards. It's a very small rural town you see and the Celtic Tiger never really took hold, more like the Celtic Pussycat, if you get my my drift. That may cause a slight problem in looking for the good business opportunities you discussed in your email but I'll talk to Paddy in the Post Office; he's the man who knows all that goes on in these parts so he might know if anyone has a quota for sale or if there are any good farms on the market (Mr. & Mrs. Doolally are supposed to be retiring soon, so I'll see if their quota is for sale)

Anyway, Professor Soludo, back to business (sorry I digress so much, but I'm that excited you see). As soon as you send me details of how I can help you I will get onto the matter straight away as I have quite a lot of free time these days since I sold my own quota two years ago, making enough profit to ease life for me.

Kind regards,

Curly K

PS Professor Soludo, my real name is Concepta Knots, my friends call me Curly K, will that present a problem with the paperwork which you have already drawn up?

----- Original Message ----
From: PROF CHARLES SOLUDO profcharles_soludo_govt1@yahoo.com
To: curlykfridayANTI-SPAMREMOVE@yahoo.co.uk
Sent: Tuesday, 2 May, 2006 10:18:42 AM
Subject: IMMEDIATE CONTRACT PAYMENT OF US$15.7MILLION.

I have a new email address!

You can now email me at: profcharles_soludo_govt1@yahoo.com

CENTRAL BANK OF NIGERIA

OFFICE OF THE GOVERNOR

TINUBU SQUARE-LAGOS

TEL: 234-80-32273525

Our Ref: CBN/IRD/CBX/021/05

Date:2nd /May/2006

IMMEDIATE CONTRACT PAYMENT OF US$15.7MILLION.

CONTRACT#.MAV/NNPC/FGN/ILT65 004/009).

Attn: Curly K

This is to acknowledge the receipt of your e-mail as regards to your outstanding payment valued at US$15.7M Forwarded to my humble office from the Federal Government for immediate remittance in your favor. I am happy to inform you that your name was on the list ofcontractors to be paid by Central Bank Of Nigeria in this first quota payment of the year 2006, so do not see it as a mistake hence the payment hbeen approved in your name, and the payment will be made to you via an International Certified Bank Draft.

Right now the Draft Issuing Dept and the Telex Dept are making arrangement to issue a bank draft in your name worth US$15.7M, which the original copy of the draft will be delivered to your doorstep through our bankers Diplomatic Courier Service. Frankly speaking I am the Governor Central Bank of Nigeria, and I am aware that you did not execute any contract with the Nigerian Government, but you should be glad that this payment was mistakenly approved in your name, and i am the only person that knows about this.

Therefore, I want us to work as a team and claim the funds into your account whereby I will furnish you with all the necessary information and documents as regards to claiming the payment, please you should not discuss this with anybody until the original copy of the draft is delivered to you, and bear in mind that as soon as you claim the funds, I will visit you in your country for the sharing of the funds. As the Executive Governor of Central Bank, Iwant us to claim the funds into your account whereby I will furnish you with every relevant information/paper work to back up your claim. Meanwhile, I have submitted your name to all the necessary authorities in charge of transfer of the funds into your account and i assure you with utmost sincerity that this transaction is 100% risk free and legal hence i will perfect and programmed the deal in such a way that there will be no trace or problems as soon as the funds are in your account. However i will use my position as a banker to do the underground work perfectly, so you should not entertain any fear, all you need do is to follow my instructions accordingly to enable us claim the funds.

Be informed that as soon as the funds are credited into your account, I will come over to your country with my family to plan for a future investment because I will resign from office here to spend the rest of my life in your country, I will start a lucrative business with my own percentage or I can also go into partnership business with you if you can scout for any business investment that is profit oriented for me where we shall invest the money. Note that once the funds are credited into your account, I shall give you 30% of the total sum for providing an account for me, and all I need from you is to stand as the beneficiary of the funds until it is credited into your account.

Note that all the authorities concerned have your record in their file as the beneficiary of the funds, and I did all these myself to make sure that there will be no trace once the transfer is concluded, bear in mind that you are receiving this payment as if you are receiving your contract payment as a contract executed under the government of Nigeria, so you should be rest assured that this deal is genuine okay, and you do not panic as I will furnish with all the necessary information as the beneficiary of the funds.

Also note that our mode of payment is through an International certified Bank Draft worth US$15.7M, bear in mind that once the draft is delivered to you, you will have to take it to your bank and make deposit in your bank and within 48hours your bank will contact you for immediate confirmation of the funds into your account, perhaps this is just a simple due process which has to be done and this is also the same way real contractors receive their payment.

Meanwhile, I have instructed the Telex dept to issue the bank draft in your name and within 24hours your draft will be ready and you will be advised to contact our Bankers Diplomatic Courier Service for shipment of the original copy to you. Finally, I assure you once again that this deal is for real and needs utmost secrecy and confidentiality until the funds are in your account. Please call me as soon as you receive this message on my direct telephone number above or reply through alternative email address(profcharles_soludo_govt@yahoo.com).

Thanks and hope to hear from you.

Regard.

Prof.Charles Soludo.

Governor Central

Bank Of Nigeria (C.B.N.)

- PROF CHARLES SOLUDO

Technorati Tags: Email Scams Central Bank of Nigeria Professor Charles Soludo Humour

Buttercups

Towards the end of the golf course, Richard hits his ball into the woods and finds it in a patch of pretty yellow buttercups. Trying to get his ball back in play, he ends up thrashing just about every buttercup in the patch. All of a sudden, in a flash and puff of smoke, a little old woman appears.

She says, "I'm Mother Nature. Do you know how long it took me to make those buttercups? Just for doing what you have done, you won't have any butter for your popcorn for the rest of your life. Better still, you won't have any butter for your toast for the rest of your life. As a matter of fact, you'll never have any butter for anything the rest of your life!"

Then POOF!.....she's gone!

After Richard recovers from the shock, he hollers, "Allan, where are you?"

Allan yells back "I'm over here in the pussywillows."

Richard shouts back, "Don't swing, Allan! For the love of God, don't swing!"

Technorati Tags: Joke humour Mother Nature Golf

Undiscovered treasure in Scotland!

After realising the predicament I had been placed in by my post about Nessie, good old CatGirlSpeaks has dug me out of a hole and forwarded this as yet undiscovered treasure from Scotland, to hopefully convey fully the power of the art of positive thinking.

Ladies, Peter Dow is definitely a catch! You have got to log on to his webpage - to set the mood "I wanna know what love is" by 10cc plays softly in the background whilst one peruses the finer details about this unique specimen of manhood. Here are just a few of the many reasons, that Peter is an unfound treasure:

"I'd like to find a lady to love and to start a family with" writes Peter ............

"I live off welfare and have done for years - it is a reliable, though low, income which increases to a couple's allowance if I can find a partner who is 'habitually resident in the UK' - lived for years in Scotland, England, Wales or Northern Ireland.".........

"I am not adverse to introducing a bit of polygamy (polygyny) into my life, so if, say, sisters, women friends or bisexual women partners wanted to share me and for us all to live together as one happy family, then I'd be all for that.".............

"Trying for children: I'd like to try for my first baby right away. So I'd advise my woman to be as sure as she can be that I'm right for her before she moves in. When my lady moves in, I'll be expecting to have sex with her with no contraception. At my age, I have no time to waste before getting my family started."

(c) http://scot.8k.com/lookingforawoman.htm

Unbelievably, Peter's fellow Scotswoman, CatGirlSpeaks has not yet jumped at the chance to take Peter up on his offer (she's obviously way too fussy - one of those women who is very hard to please!) so he's available to any of you single ladies out there. I know there are at ten single ladies (bloggers & non-bloggers, you know who you are!) who log onto to this site regularly so ladies, don't say I never do anything for you!

Technorati Tags: CatGirlSpeaks Peter Dow Scotland Undiscovered Treasure

Photo (c) http://scot.8k.com/lookingforawoman.htm

Material Girl - Part II

Well, if you've managed to get someone to buy you the £47 stg. engagement ring as discussed in my Material Girl post. I have just found the perfect wedding dress for you - yours for the princely sum of £65stg from ASDA!

Technorati Tags: Bridalwear Wedding Dress ASDA Material Girl

Photo (c) http://www.george.com/womens/bridalwear/1/

Obese, Ugly Single Man Not Seeking Same - Part II

Well folks, it seems my last post Obese, Ugly Single Man Not Seeking Same has opened a can of worms! This is very complicated. I received an email from Nessie, which I have pasted below for you. According to Nessie, the original post I linked to was posted by a guy called SmashtheLeft, who has been blacklisting Nessie for quite sometime as Nessie, in his role as moderator on the San Francisco Indymedia website, has moderated and banned SmashtheLeft's racist, anti-semitic comments.

Apparently I've managed to put myself right in the line of fire between the Right and Left. However, apologies to Nessie for my inadvertant perptuance of SmashtheLeft's campaign. Whilst I don't hold with Nessie's conspiracy theory view it doesn't offend me but I most certainly do not hold with any anti-semitic or indeed any other racist or hate views.

So, folks, Curly K, has managed to land right in the excrement whilst trying to have a lighthearted stab at the power of positive thinking!

"Please be aware that the Indymedia thread entitled "Obese, Ugly Single Man Not Seeking Same" was not actually written or posted by me. It's a forgery, one of literally thousands that are part of a political smear campaign against me that is being conducted primarily by a single person, a notorious right wing troll who calls himself "SmashTheLeft."

Google "nessie Indymedia" and you will see the scope of this smear campaign. This guy hates me because, in my capacity as one of the moderators at San Francisco Indymedia (http://sf.indymedia.org), I banned him from posting. He apparently has some mental issues, and acts out online. He is obsessed with me. I've become his personal white whale. He slanders me and forges my name to lies on Indymedia almost every single day. On occasion, he also threatens my life. He's not the only one, either. My politics has earned me a number of unscrupulous enemies. They employ what in the intelligence trade is called "black propaganda" in an attempt to discredit me, and impede my ability to function as an effective, grassroots political organizer.

Black propaganda is a very old psychological warfare technique. Consider, for example, this incident from the Irish War of Independence:

http://sf.indymedia.org/news/2002/12/1555696_comment.php#1555703

That was then. Then the target was members of the Irish independence movement, This is now. Now I'm a target, primarily because of my work as an activist in Indymedia and in the Global Justice Movement in general.

Here's one Irish person's take on the phenomenon. His name is Anthony and he is an active member of Ireland-Indymedia:

http://sf.indymedia.org/news/2004/07/1698659_comment.php#1700177

Here's more about SmashTheLeft:

http://makeashorterlink.com/?N18F232D8http://makeashorterlink.com/?H216257C8

http://pittsburgh.indymedia.org/news/2003/11/10972_comment.php#18185

Here's some stuff that I actually *did* write:

http://www.sfbg.com/nessie/http://www.transbay.net/~nessie/

http://makeashorterlink.com/?C20E2233B
http://sf.indymedia.org/news/2004/03/1683635_comment.php#

Thank you for your time. If you choose to remove the forgery from your blog, I and many IMCistas would be most grateful. At least please post a disclaimer, so that people who read your blog wont be mistaken about the truth of the matter. Thanks in advance"

Technorati Tags: Whoops Nessie SmashtheLeft Can of Worms

Obese, Ugly Single Man Not Seeking Same

Jesus, how sad is this guy? He takes thinking positively to a whole new level.

"I figure it's only a matter of time before the right girl sees my ad," Nessie

Obese, Ugly Single Man Not Seeking Same San Francisco Ca. (DPI) ­ Nessie, 35, recently joined online dating service Lavalife, placing an ad with the headline "Seeking Gorgeous, Hard-Bodied Female" although Nessie himself is an overweight, unappealing man.

"I'm looking for the finest things in life, and that extends to my love of women," reads the ad posted late Friday by Nessie, who weighs 290 pounds and works as an assistant manager at Hero's Realm, a local comic-book retailer.

"If you have love handles, a paunch or a gut, I'm probably not the guy for you. Appearance means a great deal to me. If you don't have a healthy, attractive appearance, including FASHION SENSE, then how can I ask you to take care of me?"

Nessie posted the ad from his bachelor apartment while wearing a stained Green Lantern T-Shirt and track pants. "Hey, can you blame me for wanting the best?" Nessie said while cleaning his ears with a pen from behind the Hero's Realm cash register.

"The world is full of mediocre-looking women. Why shouldn't I want the best for myself? After all, it's not like I don't have a lot to offer." Other than his $6.50-an-hour job, Nessie can also look forward to chauffeuring his new love around town in a 1986 Ford Escort that he dubs the Love Machine although he has never indulged in sexual activity in it with a partner.

Elsewhere in the ad, Nessie wrote, "I take care of myself, and I expect nothing different from my soul mate," although he has a bottle of medicated cream prescribed for a noticeable skin condition that he seems to use solely for masturbatory purposes.

Nessie expressed the most pride in the final line of his ad, which he said took him "hours" to compose: "Please, I can't stress this enough -- no fatties." He told the Probe that this embodies his philosophy perfectly. "Fat chicks are a real turnoff to me," he said through a mouthful of Mars bar. "You have to draw the line somewhere. Besides, I like the waif look." "I figure it's only a matter of time before the right girl sees my ad," Nessie told coworkers.

(c)

http://utah.indymedia.org/news/2005/03/10222.php

Whilst I'm in no position to judge lardy-arsed people (being a fully paid up member of the club) you gotta admire the guy's audacity / confidence / stupidity. Looks like he' s completely oblivious to the real world. That said apparently there are a lot of guys out who actively seek out extremely overweight and obese women, so maybe he'll luck out!

Ah well each to their own, all you can really do is wish him the best in his quest. After all there is supposed to someone out there for everyone.

She'll be one lucky lady!!!

Technorati Tags: Positive Thinking Single Man Overweight Humour

Photo (c) http://utah.indymedia.org/news/2005/03/10222.php

Dingle/Daingean - I'd dangle Eamon O'Cuiv!

The whole Dingle / Daingean debacle is a disgrace and Eamon O'Cuiv is a bigot. The majority of residents and councillors in Dingle have on the whole, understandably, disagreed with Mr. O'Cuiv's obliteration of the name Dingle from signposts in their Gaeltacht area. The Dingle Name website gives all the background to the issue.

"In March 2005, Minister Eamon O’ Cuiv brought in The Placenames Order, which has the powers of the 2002 Official Languages Act behind it ...........The 2005 Order decreed that the English language version of a placename is no longer permissible in Acts of the Oireachtas, Statutory Instruments, Land Registry and Ordinance Survey maps and Local Authority signposts both within and without the Gaeltacht. "
(c) www.dinglename.com

Aside from the discontent felt by those living in Dingle the fact that a government minister has the gall to decree that the language which is everyday language of the vast majority of the Irish population is no longer allowed to used for Gaelatacht placenames in official documents and signposts is beyond belief.

This is not an Irish versus English language argument, nor am I having a go at Gaeltacht areas or their residents. Simply put, the fact that I, as a native English (Hiberno-English to be precise) speaker and taxpayer, am no longer entitled to see placenames on signposts with any English on them in certain parts of the country is an outrage. Understandably Gaeltacht natives want to protect their heritage and some may prefer no English on the signposts in their area. However, dual signing is required in all other parts of the country and those of us who do not, or indeed choose not, to speak Irish are entitled to the same rights as native Irish speakers. Certainly make the English smaller, less prominent than the Irish as is done with Irish on English signposting but for God's sake have some respect for the vast majority of the population's first language.

Mr. O'Cuiv would do well to remember that speaking the Irish language is not a pre-requisite to being Irish!

Technorati Tags: Eamon O'Cuiv Dingle Bigotry Irish

Photo (c) http://archives.tcm.ie/breakingnews/2003/12/15/story125717.asp

Material Girl

Tight-wads and miserable men all over Britain will be delighted to hear that Tesco are now selling engagement rings from as little as £47 stg. in the U.K.

If a man to arrived to woo me with a £47 engagement ring, he'd be told in no uncertain terms to shove said ring where the sun don't shine! Seriously, really far up where the sun the don't shine.

Truly I am not a material girl. As a financially independent woman I would never expect a guy to pay for everything etc. When out on a date I pay my half of the dinner bill and buy my rounds etc. Generally I am a very low maintenance woman. I hate shopping with a passion and don't spend a fortune on things like manicures/pedicures etc. Running costs are kept to a minimum at the hairdressers (cut & colour when necessary) and beauticians (really can't be arsed plucking the old eyebrows myself).

But there are somethings that just aren't negotiable as far as this lady is concerned and a cheap engagement ring is one of them. Good God, if he can't be arsed saving some money towards a decent ring when you're not even married, it don't say much about anything really! An engagement ring is a symbol of love that the lucky woman will wear for the rest of her days (all things going well, that is!) so despite not being a bling sort of woman ordinarily, in this instance I would certainly want something decent and a £47 ring hardly qualifies!

Of course I realise that engagement rings are very expensive and that it can be difficult for people but £47, come on - surely if he loves you, he'll make a little more effort, save a little harder!

In this instance it's certainly not only the thought that counts!

Technorati Tags: Engagement Rings Tight Wads Tesco Material Girl

Photo (C) http://www.thisismoney.co.uk

Never argue with a woman who reads!

One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors, and reads her book.

Along comes a Game Warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman and says,

"Good morning, Ma'am. What are you doing?"

"Reading a book," she replies, (thinking, "Isn't that obvious?")

"You're in a Restricted Fishing Area," he informs her.

"I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading."

"Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up."

"If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault," says the woman.

"But I haven't even touched you," says the game warden.

"That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment."

"Have a nice day ma'am," and he left.

MORAL - Never argue with a woman who reads. It's likely she can also think!

Technorati Tags: Humour Women Reading Books

Photo (C) http://www.britishcouncil.org/indonesia-learning.htm

Found my mojo!!!

Got back from Europe absolutely shattered as I had had no sleep the first night travelling to airport after work and then very little in the hotel as it was a city centre hotel and very noisy. Trip went well work wise despite my trepidation about the meeting and my ability to make a good impression and seal the deal.

Further to my post The Power of Positive Thinking I was reading the comments and Omani commented that as soon as I labelled myself "positive", I became that part and that in the old days, when he first came across me I used to be different, and got different results. Now I know that we all have good days and bad days, days where we are more positive than others and all that and there is no doubt that when you are positive good things happen but I have always been positive with regard to the fact that I will meet someone, the one for me. Where I get negative is how and where you meet people. The single scene in Ireland can be depressing to say the least. It' s all a matter of keeping the faith I think.

Anyway, the follow-up gossip to the post goes like this; contestant number three duly phoned at the weekend and we went out for dinner last night - my first date in a long time! It was lovely, easy conversation and a relaxed atmosphere with no awkward silences. We then met some friends for a drink in a local bar. Afterwards the four of us headed to the late bar where we had a good nights craic. Almost cracked up when Whitney started to blare out "Ooh, I wanna dance with somebody", no-one in the company could understand my mirth but I thought it was irony at it' s best.

The night went very quickly and he is very easy going. We both bumped into people we knew and there was no pressure to sit in each other's pockets. He and his friend were a good laugh and up for the craic, even though they were both sober as judges. So no need for taxis for those of us partaking in an alcoholic beverage! All in all it was a fun, relaxing, feel-good night. So Contestant number three is a really sound bloke, warm, kind and easy to talk to, he may not be my Mr. Right but lets say he's my Mr. Right Now. He has phoned again today and we'll probably meet up again at the weekend.

As an aside to the night my resident fan club - he who happens to be older than my dad and living up the road was also in the late bar. I don't think I've mentioned him before but every night I go there, he tries to pull me over to say hi and tell me I am looking well - ah well, every girl deserves at least one semi-stalker!

It's funny how you end up on a roll when things are going well. I went into town today and the first shop I walked into I bumped into Contestant number one from last weekend (and I looked like crap, old jeans on, no make-up and very tired from night out and busy week). Blow me down but he not only remembered me but said hello and had a brief friendly chat. Not chatting me up but just really friendly - lovely as it proved I wasn't imagining that we had really connected in a sort of way last weekend. Also bumped into my resident fan club who nearly tripped over himself to get to the till behind me. Then I headed to another shop where this guy just started chatting and being really friendly. Honestly, think my mojo has come out of the closet for a brief stint over the last week or two!

Technorati Tags: Mojo Men Dating Mr. Right Now

Millenium

As I've mentioned before, like most bloggers, when I began this blog I never thought anyone would read it but this week my stat counters reliably inform me that the blog has had over 1,000 unique visits. I've set them up so my visits are not counted and that only unique visits are counted so that I don't get an inflated figure (I've always been one to deal with the bottom line!). I can't believe that anyone reads the bleedin thing but there you have it, a few select (well I like to think so) individuals actually log on and check in every now and then.

Unlike Redmum and Paige who have both written about the weird and wonderful searches that bring readers to their sites, as yet I have had no really strange searches leading people to the blog. I'm sure all good things come in time!

The stat counters show that the visits come mainly from Ireland, the UK, the USA, Australia and Canada but also from countries such as India, Spain, Belgium, Norway, Portugal and even Japan!

When I logged back onto the Business Opportunities Weblog (there is a link in the side panel) to find out how much my blog is supposedly worth (all light hearted fun methinks!) apparently its worth has now risen to $5,080.86 since I last logged onto the site about two or three weeks ago. However, as Conor discussed recently I don't think I'll be giving up the day job anytime soon!

It's strange though, I was standing in the airport the other day waiting to check in for my flight home and I got a text from a relation who has obviously been given the heads up re the blog from other relations. (You know who you are - keep in touch re the subject previously discussed Mrs.!) Jokingly I denied knowledge of this blog to which she replied it was strange that both and Curly K were out of the country at the same time!

So to all those regular readers (I owe you all a drink or two - well it won't exactly break the bank with my current circulation!) I just want to say thank, keep reading the drivel 'cos I intend to keep writing it for the forseeable future!

Technorati Tags: Blogging Millenium UK Canada

I'm leaving on a jet plane....again!

I'm off to Europe again in the morning and should actually be in bed right now despite it only being 9.15pm as I have to leave to go the airport at 2.30am for a very early flight. So once again it'll be a day or two before I post again - this life / blog balance is difficult to refine!

I will be back at the weekend and will post then (if I'm not too busy considering all factors discussed in my post "The Power of Positive Thinking!!)

Technorati Tags: Europe Travel

I'm coming out, I want the world to know.....or do I?

Don't get excited I'm only talking about my blogging. I began this blog very quietly, never expecting that it would be found by anyone let alone that it would actually be read by bloggerati as esteemed as Redmum, JL, Omani, Knackered Kaz, CatGirlSpeaks, Doris, Conor, Paige and Kev!

So I told no-one I was in the blogosphere - one person who shall remain nameless did log on and hint that they had an idea who I was but they didn't out me. However at the weekend, against my better judgement in some ways, I told some of my family. The sister's husband is now convinced that I spend my time in Chatrooms and some of the others who are completely non-technical just don't understand the concept of blogging.

In one way it's great that at least one or two people that I know will be logging on and can act as critics as and when is necessary but in another way is a place where I can vent, at whatever level I chose, whether generally or on a more personal level and I don't want to feel censored by the thoughts that I might offend those I care about.

But those of you who log on regularly (all three or four of you!)will know I'm eternal optimist and it will probably be a good thing that some people I care about will be in the know. As for going any further with the "outing" process - that's still a long way off - if ever.

Still relatively annonymously yours

Curly K

BTW: Check out what could be the future female Twenty; The Swearing Lady on The Arse End of Ireland it's a relatively new blog but the girl's got a big future in the Irish Blogosphere!

Technorati Tags: Blogging

The Power of Positive Thinking!

Well, well, well it works - this thinking positive mallarkey works! At the end of my last post I declared myself to be an eternal optimist and it paid off. Not only did I manage to find friends to go out with for one night on the town, I managed to to get out two nights on the town. However, the icing on the cake was that I actually got chatted up, not once, not twice but three feckin times in one night - fuck me that must be a record - three Irish men who approached in one night. Plus none of them were rat-arsed at the time, I must check to see if there was a full moon on Saturday night.

The first guy was handsome, witty and charming and there was a real buzz between us but in the end I told him to go with his friends who were leaving the bar for the diissco (which he was very reluctant to do - whey, hey!). Why? A number of reasons: firstly I reckoned he was younger than he was letting on (he was, sure he was only 26!), secondly he mad to travel and still in that really idealistic, madly enthusiastic stage of your early twenties (fantastic, energetic etc. but I've done all that already) and thirdly he was back only in town for the night from down the country. You know what, meeting that guy really, really cheered me up and restored my faith that there are still a few gems out there. He was only 26 and yet he had the balls to approach a woman directly, in a non-sleazy manner. He could hold a good conversation, was interesting and interested and lastly he clearly enjoyed meeting someone he could talk to, even if I had made it clear it was going no further. So yes ladies there are still some gems out there, even if they are not the one for you.

The second guy was a bit of jam, very easy on the eye, goddamned handsome. He was my age, friendly and again could hold a conversation (not as interesting as number one but to be fair we didn't get the chance to talk for as long) Unfortunately he had to leave to tend to his stag party duties but I'm always slightly dubious about guys on stags anyway.

Number three was a surprise. He was sort of standing beside us (lurking??) for a long time on Saturday night and he then began talking to me as he was waiting (for a very long time) to order a drink. Now I can't say that number three is exactly my type (not that I have a specific type) but he seems a lovely guy. He's about my age, friendly and warm and his friends are really nice (hate using the word nice, a former English teacher used to go mental about it being the most overused word in the English language but anyway!). I always think that people's friends are an important indicator of the type of person they are themselves - it doesn't bode well if someone you meet has friends who are all complete knobs!

So anyway, we were talking for a long time and when it was time to go home he asked for my number, which I gave him and blow me over but he phoned! That was the first time in a very long time that a man has asked for my number and actually called me. To be fair, I haven't actually been asked in a very long time but nine times out of ten even when I am asked they must wake up, take off their beer goggles and go "fuck me, I can't phone that wan!" (BTW, FYI the photo in my profile is not my actual photo so they may have a point!).

La, la, la, so I am feeling very good on Sunday. I've had a cracking night on Saturday, number three has phoned and tentatively made a date for next weekend (well I'm heading out with the girls that night, he's having a quiet night after having a few nights out in a row; it was a long weekend, and then we are both very busy with work for the week). The slap is on, I'm looking really good, if I say so myself, and I duly head out with the girls. We're having a good night, even managing to find seats amidst the mayhem meatmarket that late bars have become these days. Well, blow me down if I don't turn around and lo and behold if number three isn't standing beside me! His story was that he had been dragged out as the dessy (designated driver) for the night. Well, he and his friends joined our little group and a great nights' craic ensued. Good craic, easy chat, no expectations for the quick shag (let's be honest it's what a lot of guys are after - not that they get it!) with a laugh thrown in for good measure.

Well the current situation is that number three has phoned again and the tentative date for next weekend stands. Definitely don't think I've met "the one" or anything like that but I'm definitely up for meeting him again without the crowd to see how we get on - I've got nothing to lose and he's a lovely guy. So for now all I can say is watch this space.....

PS. Wonder if I "thunk" really positively about losing weight, my house becoming as pristine as Kim & Aggies' dreamhouse and my desk at work actually being cleared could I have the quickest life makeover ever seen!

Technorati Tags: Positive Thinking Date Men

Ooh I Wanna Dance with Somebody / Small Town Blues!

La la la la luh....... I got the Small Town Blues! Now, I know from long experience, that the Big Smoke can be a place where it' s hard to meet people and that it can feel so impersonal etc. etc.... and usually I enjoy living in a relatively small rural town in Ireland but on rare occasions I suffer from Small Town Blues (compounded no doubt by the Single Thirtysomething Blues!) and today is one of those days.

To be honest... I would love to meet a man.... there I've said it! Desperate I ain't; I would rather chew my arm off than be with someone for the sake of being in relationship but it would be great to meet a partner, someone to share your life with both the good times and the bad. Perfection or rugged good looks are not sought, however, intellect, sense of humour and kindness are essential.

The major problem in small town Ireland is that of where to meet people. Two main choices exist; the smaller local pub or the late-night bar / nightclub. If I go to my local pub I'm sure to get good conversation and a bit of fun but it's the same crowd everytime and the vast majority of men are spoken for already. The second option always feels like torture if you were hoping to meet someone, grand if you are out for a night of craic with the girls but hardly the place to meet a life partner.

Stop before you suggest I widen my horizons - I am trying here - ; last year I did two separate courses, first a creative writing course - met great people but the youngest man on the course was 65! The second course last year was a more academic university course - four great guys, two young ones in their very early twenties and two who will never have girlfriends but definitely have posters of Cher and Doris Day! Then I did the art class recently - two men well over 60 and one I used to babysit! With regard to work, I travel as much I can and have to go to a lot of conferences etc. and I also attend every social club event going so I am trying on that front too! If anyone has any further ideas on other things to do / places to go to meet people I'm open to all suggestions (except sports!)

Then there is the other problem of being single in small town Ireland - getting people to go out with when one feels up to braving the slaughter! (Every now and then when I have spent too many nights sitting in avoiding the pub scene, I give myself a reality check and remind myself that potential life partners ain't going to knock on my living room door!) For example, to all intents and purposes today is Friday for me as it's an extra long weekend this week - hooray! I would love to kick up my heals this weekend and brave the pub scene and I know that won't happen. All of my friends that live near are married/in very settled long-term relationships/have kids/are pregnant (think there is something in the air, half the women I know are currently with child!) etc. so the chances of me being inundated with people to go on the beer with are looking extremely slim but c'est la vie!

....but then you never know, I could end up going out and having a feckin ball! It's hard to keep an optimist down!

Technorati Tags: Small Town Blues Relationships Single Thirtysomething

Photo (c) xymonau on Stock.XCHNG

Have I ever had that effect on someone?

Having read ChittyChittyBangBang's funny and beautifully written post "I should come with a warning label" in which he describes the dizzying effects of seeing a stunning woman walk by him, I was left wondering if I'd ever had a similiar effect on anyone, I sincerely doubt it.

Having a figure that is more likely to be seen in weight-loss ad (as the 'before' pictures) rather than in a Panthene advert does, I fear, lead to the logical conclusion, that no man has had such a wobbly attack as I walked by them, oblivious to the effect I was having on him - ha, ha! I know it's fickle and image conscious and all those things that I despise but it would be fantastic if it happened just once, if I too, could have my Shallow Hal moment!

However, Chitty's post did make me think back to a foreign holiday about five or six years ago. I was sitting in a bar in a Mediterranean resort with three friends when I saw a man down the room noticing me. He was with a friend and they had just walked into the bar, looked around and walked out again. However, that was not before his eyes met mine across the room and lingered for longer than usual. I don't go in for all that stuff about eyes meeting across a crowded room etc. but it was kinda like that and I had a sense that he would be back. About two minutes later he returned to the bar alone and walked straight up to me in the middle of the crowded bar.

Whilst I didn't knock the poor guy of his feet like poor Chitty, he had been drawn to me from one glance across a really crowded bar so I guess I've sort of had one Shallow Hal moment.

Technorati Tags: Shallow Hall ChittyChittyBangBang Dazzling Beauty

Why Kerrymen can't be paramedics

Paddy & Tom are out in the woods hunting when suddenly Paddy grabs his chest and falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing; his eyes are rolled back in his head. Tom whips out his cell phone and calls 911.

He gasps to the operator, "I think Paddy is dead. What should I do?"

The operator, in a calm soothing voice says, "Just take it easy and follow my instructions. First, let's make sure he's dead."

There is a silence...... and then a shot is heard.

Tom's voice comes back on the line,

"Okay, now what?"

Well I'm finally back after a break from the blogosphere. I actually had my gallbladder out so was in hospital (very briefly) and then recuperating for a couple of weeks. Have to say that keyhole surgery is pretty amazing, went into the hospital one morning at 8am and was out by 12.30pm the next day. So I'm feeling much better than I have in a while!

Have just begun trying to catch up with all my fave blogs as I took the full sabbatical from reading blogs as well as writing on this one. So will be logging onto Omani, JL, CatGirl, Kaz, Kev, Doris, Paige, Redmum etc. over the next few days to play catch-up.

Technorati Tags: Irish Paramedics Humour Gallbladder Recovery

Photo: (c) http://www.msrr.org/funny_stuff/Irish%20Paramedics.jpg