I......

I have been tagged by Julie Midas, so here goes:

I AM:

A strong, independent woman who doesn't do girly but can be as soft as butter with the right handling!

I'm also, congenitally untidy in my house, office etc. but never my mind!

Constantly amazed by the resilience of the human spirit.

Grateful for my family and friends.

I WANT:

To stop faffing around, get my arse in gear and tidy my bedroom and organise my new mortgage and car!

To travel more, there are so many places to see and things to do.

I WISH:

That my loved ones didn't have to go through the heartache that some of them have had in the past.

That I were disciplined enough to be fitter, thinner and more organised.

I HATE:

People who treat me like an idiot or half-wit, questioning my intelligence outrages me and makes me get very uppity with them.

Housework especially ironing and hoovering.

I MISS:

My sister who lives way too far away for me to able to pop in for a cuppa.

Some of my friends who also live quite far away.

I FEAR:

Losing my independence, should my arthritis ever get worse.

How I would cope if I ever did have children.

I HEAR:

The distant sound of the traffic outside my office window and a blue-bottle fly buzzing around the window. (He won't be there very much longer!)

I WONDER:

If I'll ever meet my soulmate and have a family.

What people really think of me!

I REGRET:

Any hurt I've ever caused my loved ones, especially my mother.

I AM NOT:

The World's best housekeeper, a good singer, skinny, blonde, or dumb.

I DANCE:

Too little these days but quite well for a lardy arse when I get going!

I SING:

Lots especially in my car but not terribly well albeit better than my housemate!

I CRY:

Rarely but usually by myself.

I AM NOT ALWAYS:

As tolerant with people as I could be or as energetic as I should be.

I MAKE WITH MY HANDS:

Bugger all really but when I try I'm quite a good cook.

I WRITE:

Quite good reports and summaries for work.

Only using full words and sentences where possible in email and texts- I'm generally not a big fan of text abbreviations.

I CONFUSE:

Other people sometimes, I'm not sure if they always get me.

I NEED:

A hug and a back massage.

I also need to get fit.

I SHOULD:

Become the best person I can possibly be.

Be tidier and more organised.

Remember and be grateful for the wonderful things in my life more often.

I START:

What I finish.

To let my mind wander in work sometimes.

To dream about what can be quite a lot.

I FINISH:

Those things which interest and challenge me most, the quickest.

My sister's sentences sometimes.

I tag Doris, Conor, Omani, JL and Paige should they wish to take part, no pressure.

Technorati Tags: Doris JL Conor Omani Paige Julie Midas

Gizz a job!

Resumé of Vicky Pollard

ADDRESS: Dur – I live with my mum – init!
TELEPHONE: Yeah right, I aint givin' you my number!
EMAIL: yeh_but_no_but_yeh_but@hotmail.com

ACADEMIC QUALIFICATIONS

Yeah but, no but, yeah but, what it was right, I sat next to Kelly Smith and she totally copied off me cos I told everyone about her wanking off Kevin smith outside McDonalds but Mrs Dodson like TOTALLY busted ME for it and said I was cheating and OH MY GOD I so cant believe she did that cos anyway everyone knows she’s a lezzer.

EXPERIENCE

1996 Pregnant
1997 Pregnant again
1998 Pregnant again
1999 Pregnant again

2000 South London young offenders institute

Yeh but, no but, yeh but, no but, what it was right, I never done nothin’ right but Sharon Gordon said I stole that money from Mr Jackson wallet but I never did it right and anyway it was only 20 quid so she’s a slag and she just hates me cos I told everyone about that time when she shat herself on the bus on that school trip to Blackpool

2001 McDonalds

Responsibilities
§ Serving Burgers and fries and that
Achievements
§ Ate 12 Big Macs a day

I never spat in them burgers - they was well out of order for firing me that is so unfair! This is like, well sexual harassment! God, this is exactly like the time Miss Rennig, who everyone knows is a total lesbian, made Candice Burton stay behind after PE, started telling her off for gobbing on Sunita Geschwani's hair. But everyone knows she only made her stay late because she wanted to get off with her, cuz when she was telling her off her legs were wide open and Candice reckons she could see her spider.

2002 Pregnant again

2003 Burger King

Responsibilities
§ Serving Burgers and fries and that
Achievements
§ Ate 13 Whoppers a day - Stop giving me evils!
§ I never put tampons in the burgers - they was well out of order for firing me

2004 South London young offenders institute again

What it was right, I never done nothin’ right but Pauline Jackson said I put tampons in the burgers but I never did and anyway it was only that one time and Kevin Hops TOTALLY deserved it right cos he told everyone that I got fingered by Wayne Daniels outside wimpy but anyway he didn’t even finger me he stuck it up my arse hole and he’s just jealous cos everyone knows he’s a puff

2005 On Welfare

2006 South London young offenders institute again

Yeh but, no but, what it was right, I never done nothin’ right but Tara Watson said I nicked her stereo right but I never nicked nuthin right and anyway it was only some shitty AKAI so she’s a slag and she just hates me cos she’s a lezzer and I told everyone about that time when she got fishy fingered by Kelly smith behind the Little Chef in Brixton and anyway don't listen to her coz everyone knows her fanny goes sideways.

Technorati Tags: Vicky Pollard Resume Little Britain Humour

Dave with no ears

Dave, sadly was born without ears. This concerned him greatly but because he was a very successful businessman he could forget about it quite easily. One day he needed to hire a new manager for his company. He set up three interviews. The first guy was great. He knew everything he needed to know and was very interesting. But at the end of the interview, Dave asked him, "Do you notice anything different about me?" "Why, yes, I couldn't help but notice that you have no ears," came the reply. Dave did not appreciate his candour and threw him out of the office.

The second interview was with a woman, and she was even better than the first guy. But he asked her the same question: "Do you notice anything different about me?" "Well," she said stammering, "you have no ears." Dave again got upset and chucked her out in a rage.

The third and final interviewee was the best of the bunch, he was a young man who had recently earned his BSc(Hons). He was smart. He was handsome and he seemed to be a better businessman than the first two put together. Dave was anxious, but went ahead and asked the young man the same question: "Do you notice anything different about me?" And much to his surprise, the young man answered, "Yes, you wear contact lenses, don't you?" Dave was shocked and realised this was an incredibly observant person. "How in the world did you know that?", he asked. The young man fell off his chair laughing hysterically and replied, "Well, it's pretty hard to wear glasses with no f***ing ears!!

Technorati Tags: Humour Joke Job Interview Success

Miscellany

SAFE SEX

Driving home from a meeting down the country this evening I was listening to the Matt Cooper on Today FM. He had some lady on from the Mothers at Home group responding to some expert they had on the programme yesterday who had advocated teenagers wait till they are ready to have sex and do so in a responsible safe way. Yer wan from the Mothers at Home group came on to say that the only truly safe sex was within the confines of a marriage. Dear God, it's Curly K here, please let me get married very soon - I've waited long enough!

CHERISH YOUR WORKFORCE

It's really good to see that the incumbent Government cherishes those who work day in and out to provide its services. Bertie has now had a pop at the former Chief Executive and Management team of Aer Lingus, accusing them of trying to steal the company's assets. This follows on from Mary Harney's scurrilous remarks about nurses not so long ago as well as the continuing efforts to force, FAS workers and other public servants to leave their homes and move out of Dublin, through reduced promotion opportunities etc. Perhaps they should re-evaluate their own performances and indeed substantial payrises during their own terms of office before saying anything further. The Government's successes to date with solving the health crisis, lack of proper transport infrastructure, proper educational facilities and adequate services for our most vunerable in society etc. have hardly been outstanding. Rather farcical is a word that comes to mind when one analyses the Government's performance. However, this did not deter nice fat pay rises and ever decreasing work days in the Dail - keep goin lads, the elections are fast approaching!

LAZINESS

I also heard on the radio that somewhere in Co. Longford today a man was spotted driving his car slowly whilst wheeling one of those distance measuring wheel thingies - jaysus, that's what I call lazy!

Technorati Tags: Safe Sex Irish Government Laziness Miscellany

Shopping for Mortgages - help!

So I want/need to switch mortgage lenders for a number of reasons, trouble is I'd rather chew my arm off than shop around for mortgage deals! Working out the various interest rates, charges for switching/administration, terms of mortgages etc. must surely be one of the most tortuous processes ever invented!

If you have any tips on how to ease that process please, please, please let me know. Know of any good websites that compare / contrast / work the whole thing out for you - again please let me know. It's not that I'm thick or won't eventually work out the best value / deal for me, it's just that the whole interest rate thing bores me senseless so all suggestions gratefully received.

Technorati Tags: Mortgage Lenders Interest Rates Deals Help

I saw this and thought of you..........

The important thing is not to stop questioning.
Albert Einstein


There is more to life than increasing its speed.
Gandhi


People are just about as happy as they make up their minds to be.
Abraham Lincoln


No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
Eleanor Roosevelt


Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll land among the stars.
Les Brown


Friends are those rare people who ask how we are and then wait to hear the answer.
Ed Cunningham


The most wasted of all days is one without laughter.
E. E. Cummings


...if we wait for the moment when everything, absolutely everything is ready, we shall never begin.
Ivan Turgenev


You may be disappointed if you fail, but you are doomed if you don't try.
Beverly Sills


He who angers you conquers you.
Elizabeth Kenny


I learned that it is the weak who are cruel, and that gentleness is to be expected only from the strong.
Leo Rosten


You will never find time for anything. If you want the time, you must make it.
Charles Buxton


The supreme happiness in life is the conviction that we are loved.
Victor Hugo


Snowflakes are one of nature's most fragile things, but just look what they can do when they stick together.
Vista M. Kelly


The only place you'll find success before work is in the dictionary.
May B. Smith


Technorati Tags: Famous Quotes Life Inspiration Motivation

Found my mojo cont'd. - Mr. Right Now!

For those of you who read my previous post Found my mojo! I've decided to give ye all a quick update on what's been happening since. Contestant number three, currently re-named Mr. Right Now has kept in touch and we've been out for dinner and / or drinks each weekend since!

Don't misconstrue the name Mr. Right Now - I am not using him or simply making do till something better comes along. It's simply that right now is all I can think about. I just want to see what happens - I'm taking my own advice and taking it easy, not rushing into anything and not reading too much into the situation.

He's lovely, kind, considerate, easy-going, good company and not jealous (can't stand jealous men - as I usually say, no-one's tried to run away with me so far, I'm hardly going to become an irresistable sex siren just 'cos I happen be dating!). However, I did have to have the chat about me wanting to take things easy. I just felt he is getting more involved than I am and whilst I don't want to run scared neither do I want to hurt someone so genuine and kind. It's a delicate balance and hopefully I'm managing to keep things on an even keel at the minute.

Whilst we get on very well, the lack of things in common does concern me a little. Also, he's really quiet - which makes it quite strange that he's taken with me seeing as I could never be described as quiet - unless someone gagged me (I'm not suggesting that by the way!). That said I do enjoy his company plus I can be sure he wants to be out with me as he can't blame beer goggles etc. seeing as he doesn't really drink.

One of the things I've noticed is that my mojo is apparently still good. Whilst out on Saturday night a guy who I had a brief thing with years ago and have stayed relatively friendly with, took it upon himself to inform Mr. Right Now that I was a fantastic woman, one of the best (he did however add the proviso, "if you can tame her!" - not sure where that came from, I've never been exactly wild, although I suppose I can be headstrong!). Also, I've just been chatted up so much more than I have ever been in my life in the last few weeks and that started before Mr. Right Now. Maybe it's the fact that I am in my thirties and don't actually worry as much about what people think (of course I still do, but like in my twenties!). Perhaps you just grow into your own skin a little more.

Anyway, will keep you informed but at the moment my biggest problem is that I'm absolutely knackered - I haven't had so many nights out in a long time!

Technorati Tags: Mojo Dating Mr. Right Now Single

Photo (c); http://bighappyfaces.com

He still wants to give me money!

Dear Professor Soludo,

What a blessing to hear from you again. Are you sure that it right that we continue when the amount was mistakenly approved in my name. I know you say we must keep it confidential but if Father McDoogood was to hear of me taking money that wasn't rightfully mine he could be very upset. I would not like to do something wrong, sure there's no point in going to church every week if you are going to knowingly sin. I will pray for guidance on this matter.

You asked me for details which I list below for you information:

1) Your full names and contact address

My full name is Concepta Attracta Majella Knots


2) Your direct tel/fax numbers for easy communication.

My telephone number is 00 353 (premium phoneline number was inserted here!) but I don't have a fax number.

3) Any identification of your goodself or copy of your international passport for recognition.

Unfortunately, Professor, I don't drive as Ballygobackwards is quite a small town and everything is nearby. Also, seeing as I have never left Ireland I don't have a passport.

4)Your Bank Account information where this fund will be transfered to.

My bank is Bank of Munster, Side Street, Ballygobackwards, Co. Waterford, Ireland. The manager there is Mr. Lotaloot and he's a very kind man.

Professor, I do hope that I am doing the right thing, you are a good Christian, aren't you?

Best wishes from Ireland

Concepta Knots






Date: Wed, 10 May 2006 16:21:41 -0700 (PDT)
From: “prof charles Soludo" Subject: THANKS FOR YOUR RESPONSE!
To: "Curly K"


Dear Concepta Knots

Thanks for your willingnes to carry on this deal with me,Frankly speaking I am the Governor Central Bank of Nigeria and I am aware that you did not execute any contract with the Nigerian Government but you should be glad that this payment was mistakenly approved in your name and i am the only person that knows about it.

However, I want us to work as a team and claim the funds into your account whereby I will execute the neccesary step and furnish you with all the information needed as to claiming the payment, please keep this transaction secret and you should not discuss this with anybody until the original copy of the draft is delivered to you, this transfer deserves utmost secrecy and confidentiality with total commitment to achieving it positively.

Therefore, i shall appreciate you send to me immediately the following informations below to proceed.

1) Your full names and contact address
2) Your direct tel/fax numbers for easy communication.
3) Any identification of your goodself or copy of your international passport for recognition.
4)Your Bank Account information where this fund will be transfered to.

These informations will enable me to process all other doucuments needed to actualise this transfer in your favour, Please you should try to provide a reliable bank account where this fund will be transfered and absolute correspondence.

Awaits your response soonest.
Prof Charles Soludo.

Technorati Tags: Email Scam Professor Charles Soludo Central Bank of Nigeria Humour

20% of US$35,214,000 is how much????

Actually its $7,042,800, bless their hearts! As you can see below I got another email from a kind Zimbabwean soul living in South Africa this time. Sure, the sweet man wants to give me 20% of over $35 million, how could I not write to him! I will let you know as soon as I get a reply to either the email below or the one sent on Tuesday.

Dear Kuta,

Many thanks for your email. I was indeed surprised to hear that someone in Zimbabwe had managed to get my address from the South African Chamber of Commerce in Johannesburg as I don’t understand how important people in such a faraway place came to hear about me, here in Ballygobackwards. Also, Kuto, it seems amazing that such important people even knew my nickname Curly K. Sure I thought only my good business associates knew that, nevertheless, as you know the Lord works in mysterious ways. I just wanted to let you know that my real name is Concepta Knots in case you need it for any paperwork.

Kuto, I am so sorry to hear about your troubles, it must be especially hard for you coming from a good God fearing background. Also it must be hard to know that there is US$35.214.000.00 in a bank that you cannot touch whilst you are forced to be a refugee. It’s a sin. Kuto, I cannot believe would be so generous to give away 20% of this amount, it’s a lot of money but you are obviously a very kind man.

Kuto, I would love to help you and look forward to hearing from you soon.

Best wishes from Ireland

Concepta Knots (Curly K)

----- Original Message ----
From: kuta khumalo kuta_khumalo_006@hotmail.com
Sent: Sunday, 7 May, 2006 11:41:57 PM
Subject: MY FAMILY NEED YOUR ASSISTANCE


MR Kuta Khumalo
NO.16 ANDERSON STREET
MANDELA CRESENT.
JOHANNESBURG 2001


Dear Curly K,

CONFIDENTIAL.

My name is Kuta Khumalo the eldeset son of Mr.Joseph Khumalo of Zimbabwe. This might come to you as a surprise about where I got your contact address. I got your address from the South African Chamber of Commerce in Johannesburg, South Africa.

During the current war against the farmers in Zimbabwe from the supporters of our President Robert Mugabe to claim all the white-owned farms to his party members and his followers, he ordered all white farmers to surrender all their farms to his party members and his followers.

My father was one of the best farmers in our country and because he did not support Mugabe's ideas, Mugabe's supporters invaded my father's farm and burnt everything in the farm, killing my father and made away with a lot of items in my father's farm. Before his death, my father had deposited with one of the Security Company in Johannesburg, South Africa the sum of (US$35.214.000.00) (Thirty Five Million, Two hundred and Fourteen Thousand.United States Dollars).with my name and made every documents with my name both the certificate of depository. Then after the death of my father, we decided to move to the Republic of South Africa where he had deposited the money in the Security Company as family valuables.

So, I decided to contact you to assist me to transfer this money out of South Africa because as asylum seekers we are not allowed to operate any bank account within South Africa. We have agreed to offer you 20% of the total sum for your assistance, 5% will be mapped out for any expenses that may be incurred in the course of this transaction and 75% will be for me and my family to invest in your country. All I want you to do is to furnish me with your full personal phone and fax numbers for easy communication.

You can contact me on the above Telephone number. Note that this transaction is 100% risk free and absolutely confidential.

Thanks and God bless as I await your reply.
Best Regards,
MR KUTA KHUMALO
(For the Family)

Technorati Tags: Email Scams Concepta Knots Khuto Khumalo Humour

Yes, I'll help you give me $15 million

I decided to reply to one of those emails telling me they were giving me lotsamoney! Here's what I sent the esteemed Professor, I await his reply.

Dear Professor Soludo,

Many thanks for your email - I am delighted to hear that you will pay me over 15 million US dollars. Its a pity that the sum was not in Euros as it would be worth more but nevertheless I will accept the dollars sum and try to make to do.

Professor Soludo, I do feel it is my obligation to make you aware that I actually didn't send any email about an outstanding payment owing to me and as a clean living Catholic I could not take what did not belong to me, if you have mistaken me for someone else. Of course, if you need my assistance and would like to pay me for my troubles, well that's a different matter.

Your email brought such good news on so many fronts, not only will I receive a large sum of money for doing my Christian duty and helping someone in trouble but I also see that I will get to meet you and your lovely family eventually when you come to visit Ireland. All this is such good news as we don't get many visitors here in Ballygobackwards. It's a very small rural town you see and the Celtic Tiger never really took hold, more like the Celtic Pussycat, if you get my my drift. That may cause a slight problem in looking for the good business opportunities you discussed in your email but I'll talk to Paddy in the Post Office; he's the man who knows all that goes on in these parts so he might know if anyone has a quota for sale or if there are any good farms on the market (Mr. & Mrs. Doolally are supposed to be retiring soon, so I'll see if their quota is for sale)

Anyway, Professor Soludo, back to business (sorry I digress so much, but I'm that excited you see). As soon as you send me details of how I can help you I will get onto the matter straight away as I have quite a lot of free time these days since I sold my own quota two years ago, making enough profit to ease life for me.

Kind regards,

Curly K

PS Professor Soludo, my real name is Concepta Knots, my friends call me Curly K, will that present a problem with the paperwork which you have already drawn up?

----- Original Message ----
From: PROF CHARLES SOLUDO profcharles_soludo_govt1@yahoo.com
To: curlykfridayANTI-SPAMREMOVE@yahoo.co.uk
Sent: Tuesday, 2 May, 2006 10:18:42 AM
Subject: IMMEDIATE CONTRACT PAYMENT OF US$15.7MILLION.

I have a new email address!

You can now email me at: profcharles_soludo_govt1@yahoo.com

CENTRAL BANK OF NIGERIA

OFFICE OF THE GOVERNOR

TINUBU SQUARE-LAGOS

TEL: 234-80-32273525

Our Ref: CBN/IRD/CBX/021/05

Date:2nd /May/2006

IMMEDIATE CONTRACT PAYMENT OF US$15.7MILLION.

CONTRACT#.MAV/NNPC/FGN/ILT65 004/009).

Attn: Curly K

This is to acknowledge the receipt of your e-mail as regards to your outstanding payment valued at US$15.7M Forwarded to my humble office from the Federal Government for immediate remittance in your favor. I am happy to inform you that your name was on the list ofcontractors to be paid by Central Bank Of Nigeria in this first quota payment of the year 2006, so do not see it as a mistake hence the payment hbeen approved in your name, and the payment will be made to you via an International Certified Bank Draft.

Right now the Draft Issuing Dept and the Telex Dept are making arrangement to issue a bank draft in your name worth US$15.7M, which the original copy of the draft will be delivered to your doorstep through our bankers Diplomatic Courier Service. Frankly speaking I am the Governor Central Bank of Nigeria, and I am aware that you did not execute any contract with the Nigerian Government, but you should be glad that this payment was mistakenly approved in your name, and i am the only person that knows about this.

Therefore, I want us to work as a team and claim the funds into your account whereby I will furnish you with all the necessary information and documents as regards to claiming the payment, please you should not discuss this with anybody until the original copy of the draft is delivered to you, and bear in mind that as soon as you claim the funds, I will visit you in your country for the sharing of the funds. As the Executive Governor of Central Bank, Iwant us to claim the funds into your account whereby I will furnish you with every relevant information/paper work to back up your claim. Meanwhile, I have submitted your name to all the necessary authorities in charge of transfer of the funds into your account and i assure you with utmost sincerity that this transaction is 100% risk free and legal hence i will perfect and programmed the deal in such a way that there will be no trace or problems as soon as the funds are in your account. However i will use my position as a banker to do the underground work perfectly, so you should not entertain any fear, all you need do is to follow my instructions accordingly to enable us claim the funds.

Be informed that as soon as the funds are credited into your account, I will come over to your country with my family to plan for a future investment because I will resign from office here to spend the rest of my life in your country, I will start a lucrative business with my own percentage or I can also go into partnership business with you if you can scout for any business investment that is profit oriented for me where we shall invest the money. Note that once the funds are credited into your account, I shall give you 30% of the total sum for providing an account for me, and all I need from you is to stand as the beneficiary of the funds until it is credited into your account.

Note that all the authorities concerned have your record in their file as the beneficiary of the funds, and I did all these myself to make sure that there will be no trace once the transfer is concluded, bear in mind that you are receiving this payment as if you are receiving your contract payment as a contract executed under the government of Nigeria, so you should be rest assured that this deal is genuine okay, and you do not panic as I will furnish with all the necessary information as the beneficiary of the funds.

Also note that our mode of payment is through an International certified Bank Draft worth US$15.7M, bear in mind that once the draft is delivered to you, you will have to take it to your bank and make deposit in your bank and within 48hours your bank will contact you for immediate confirmation of the funds into your account, perhaps this is just a simple due process which has to be done and this is also the same way real contractors receive their payment.

Meanwhile, I have instructed the Telex dept to issue the bank draft in your name and within 24hours your draft will be ready and you will be advised to contact our Bankers Diplomatic Courier Service for shipment of the original copy to you. Finally, I assure you once again that this deal is for real and needs utmost secrecy and confidentiality until the funds are in your account. Please call me as soon as you receive this message on my direct telephone number above or reply through alternative email address(profcharles_soludo_govt@yahoo.com).

Thanks and hope to hear from you.

Regard.

Prof.Charles Soludo.

Governor Central

Bank Of Nigeria (C.B.N.)

- PROF CHARLES SOLUDO

Technorati Tags: Email Scams Central Bank of Nigeria Professor Charles Soludo Humour

Buttercups

Towards the end of the golf course, Richard hits his ball into the woods and finds it in a patch of pretty yellow buttercups. Trying to get his ball back in play, he ends up thrashing just about every buttercup in the patch. All of a sudden, in a flash and puff of smoke, a little old woman appears.

She says, "I'm Mother Nature. Do you know how long it took me to make those buttercups? Just for doing what you have done, you won't have any butter for your popcorn for the rest of your life. Better still, you won't have any butter for your toast for the rest of your life. As a matter of fact, you'll never have any butter for anything the rest of your life!"

Then POOF!.....she's gone!

After Richard recovers from the shock, he hollers, "Allan, where are you?"

Allan yells back "I'm over here in the pussywillows."

Richard shouts back, "Don't swing, Allan! For the love of God, don't swing!"

Technorati Tags: Joke humour Mother Nature Golf

Undiscovered treasure in Scotland!

After realising the predicament I had been placed in by my post about Nessie, good old CatGirlSpeaks has dug me out of a hole and forwarded this as yet undiscovered treasure from Scotland, to hopefully convey fully the power of the art of positive thinking.

Ladies, Peter Dow is definitely a catch! You have got to log on to his webpage - to set the mood "I wanna know what love is" by 10cc plays softly in the background whilst one peruses the finer details about this unique specimen of manhood. Here are just a few of the many reasons, that Peter is an unfound treasure:

"I'd like to find a lady to love and to start a family with" writes Peter ............

"I live off welfare and have done for years - it is a reliable, though low, income which increases to a couple's allowance if I can find a partner who is 'habitually resident in the UK' - lived for years in Scotland, England, Wales or Northern Ireland.".........

"I am not adverse to introducing a bit of polygamy (polygyny) into my life, so if, say, sisters, women friends or bisexual women partners wanted to share me and for us all to live together as one happy family, then I'd be all for that.".............

"Trying for children: I'd like to try for my first baby right away. So I'd advise my woman to be as sure as she can be that I'm right for her before she moves in. When my lady moves in, I'll be expecting to have sex with her with no contraception. At my age, I have no time to waste before getting my family started."

(c) http://scot.8k.com/lookingforawoman.htm

Unbelievably, Peter's fellow Scotswoman, CatGirlSpeaks has not yet jumped at the chance to take Peter up on his offer (she's obviously way too fussy - one of those women who is very hard to please!) so he's available to any of you single ladies out there. I know there are at ten single ladies (bloggers & non-bloggers, you know who you are!) who log onto to this site regularly so ladies, don't say I never do anything for you!

Technorati Tags: CatGirlSpeaks Peter Dow Scotland Undiscovered Treasure

Photo (c) http://scot.8k.com/lookingforawoman.htm

Material Girl - Part II

Well, if you've managed to get someone to buy you the £47 stg. engagement ring as discussed in my Material Girl post. I have just found the perfect wedding dress for you - yours for the princely sum of £65stg from ASDA!

Technorati Tags: Bridalwear Wedding Dress ASDA Material Girl

Photo (c) http://www.george.com/womens/bridalwear/1/

Obese, Ugly Single Man Not Seeking Same - Part II

Well folks, it seems my last post Obese, Ugly Single Man Not Seeking Same has opened a can of worms! This is very complicated. I received an email from Nessie, which I have pasted below for you. According to Nessie, the original post I linked to was posted by a guy called SmashtheLeft, who has been blacklisting Nessie for quite sometime as Nessie, in his role as moderator on the San Francisco Indymedia website, has moderated and banned SmashtheLeft's racist, anti-semitic comments.

Apparently I've managed to put myself right in the line of fire between the Right and Left. However, apologies to Nessie for my inadvertant perptuance of SmashtheLeft's campaign. Whilst I don't hold with Nessie's conspiracy theory view it doesn't offend me but I most certainly do not hold with any anti-semitic or indeed any other racist or hate views.

So, folks, Curly K, has managed to land right in the excrement whilst trying to have a lighthearted stab at the power of positive thinking!

"Please be aware that the Indymedia thread entitled "Obese, Ugly Single Man Not Seeking Same" was not actually written or posted by me. It's a forgery, one of literally thousands that are part of a political smear campaign against me that is being conducted primarily by a single person, a notorious right wing troll who calls himself "SmashTheLeft."

Google "nessie Indymedia" and you will see the scope of this smear campaign. This guy hates me because, in my capacity as one of the moderators at San Francisco Indymedia (http://sf.indymedia.org), I banned him from posting. He apparently has some mental issues, and acts out online. He is obsessed with me. I've become his personal white whale. He slanders me and forges my name to lies on Indymedia almost every single day. On occasion, he also threatens my life. He's not the only one, either. My politics has earned me a number of unscrupulous enemies. They employ what in the intelligence trade is called "black propaganda" in an attempt to discredit me, and impede my ability to function as an effective, grassroots political organizer.

Black propaganda is a very old psychological warfare technique. Consider, for example, this incident from the Irish War of Independence:

http://sf.indymedia.org/news/2002/12/1555696_comment.php#1555703

That was then. Then the target was members of the Irish independence movement, This is now. Now I'm a target, primarily because of my work as an activist in Indymedia and in the Global Justice Movement in general.

Here's one Irish person's take on the phenomenon. His name is Anthony and he is an active member of Ireland-Indymedia:

http://sf.indymedia.org/news/2004/07/1698659_comment.php#1700177

Here's more about SmashTheLeft:

http://makeashorterlink.com/?N18F232D8http://makeashorterlink.com/?H216257C8

http://pittsburgh.indymedia.org/news/2003/11/10972_comment.php#18185

Here's some stuff that I actually *did* write:

http://www.sfbg.com/nessie/http://www.transbay.net/~nessie/

http://makeashorterlink.com/?C20E2233B
http://sf.indymedia.org/news/2004/03/1683635_comment.php#

Thank you for your time. If you choose to remove the forgery from your blog, I and many IMCistas would be most grateful. At least please post a disclaimer, so that people who read your blog wont be mistaken about the truth of the matter. Thanks in advance"

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