Curly K lives!

Apologies for the lack of posts in the last week or so but things have been hectic here in Curly K land. Between organising conferences, travelling to Europe for work and even a few dates thrown in for good measure, I haven't had time to blog or more importantly catch up on my favourite blogs!

Fear not, Curly K will be fully back in the blogosphere in the next few days when I eventually get my desk cleared (or a little clearer at any rate!)

Touching base

Just a quick post to let ye know that unlike Paige and Pippa I've not decided to leave the blogosphere - come back you two and quick smart! Hopefully Omani and some of my other favourites who've not posted in a while are simply taking time out and will not go the route of Paige and Pippa.

For me, it's just been a very busy week with work and one thing and another and the next two weeks ain't looking any less busy. But I will try to do a proper post asap (with all the juicy gossip!) and indeed get back to commenting on my favourite blogs when I can get sorted out, although the change to beta-blogger has become more of an issue re commenting in the last day or so!

Will hopefully get a chance to catch up with ye all and with what's going on with ye, in the next few days but bear with me as will be out of town for most of this week and indeed next week.

Beta Blogger

Currently having some problems commenting on my favourite blogs so bear with me folks. I am still dropping by, via bloglines etc. Plus I haven't got around to putting some new blogs I'm visiting up here but will get around to it eventually.

Sorry but that is just plain weird!

Watching a programme on Channel Five right now and the people in it are weird to say the least. They are practising Attachment Parenting, where a lot of them are just 100% devoting all their time to parenting their children. Giving up work, breastfeeding on demand till whatever age the child wants to stop, home-schooling, never giving out to their children; using persuasion only, not using prams or cots; constantly carrying their children and even practising something called Elimination Communication where they never use nappies and let the kids just poop and pee everywhere.

Sorry but that's just plain weird, as well as ultimately being extremely unfair on the children. They will get some shock when they go out into the real world and realise that it doesn't actually revolve around them, the way that their parents have lead them to believe!

Technorati Tags: Attachment Parenting

Being an imitidating woman apparently

There are always moments in life that make us sit up and take notice and tonight I had one of them- I was talking to a woman who is slightly older than me and whom I have the utmost of respect for. She married a younger man when she was older than I currently am - but yet tonight she informed me to be careful, that I am intimidating to men! Not a position I'd ever considered myself to be in, to be quite frank! What worries me about the allegation is the sneaking suspicion that she is probably right!!

Now whilst I've never, ever thought of myself as a shrinking violet, likewise I've never thought of myself as a 110% gung ho woman who is intimadating to men!

But apparently I am, which: came as a surprise to me. Now, as I mentioned earlier, I don't exactly labour under the illusion that I'm girly girl or a sex goddess but I was knocked for six to be informed that I am perceived as ultimately very intimidating with regard to relationships to the vast majority of men in my social and work circle . And not only that but the remainder of guys in my social circle, could, apparently be forgiven for presuming that I'm simply one of the guys!!!

So my question is very simple; if you're not a girly girl. If fluttering your eyelids is something you don't do, unless you've a fly in your eye - where do you position yourself?

Where do you fit in if you're not a fluffy girly, girl but equally you're not a lesbian or a woman who does not want relationship?

I soo don't do fluffy: and what was clarified for me tonight is the fact that men actually find me either really intimidating or really amusing, as in, one of the lads!

My problem is that whilst I am a 100% hetrosexual woman I fail consistently to be anything approaching what men apparently consider to be either their ideal woman or approachable enough to meet them half-way - apparently what I am, with regard to men, is intimidating!

UPDATE: Mental note to self, do not post on blog in the early hours of the morning when drunk!

Good manners cost nothing

If there's one thing I can't stand it's really bad manners. Now I am not talking about watching all your P & Qs and all that etiquette stuff. I'm talking about down to earth simple things like please and thank you. It costs nothing but some drivers have just no manners especially when pulling out into the road.

If I stop to let you out please at least put your hand up to say thanks, it's not much to ask. I've been polite enough to stop, all you have to do is put your hand up, you mindless moron. But of course you won't especially if you're the type of driver that has never heard about the fact that there are indicators on the car for a bleedin reason or if you're one of those gobshites who believes that driving your car halfway out into the road is going to force me to let you out. That simply turns your behaviour into bullying as well as bad-mannered.

Be nice, it doesn't cost anything, won't take oodles of your obviously precious time and would make the roads more enjoyable for everybody.

End of rant.

Technorati Tags: Driving Good Manners

Lovely night

Well met my date last night for a drink. Not going to go into how we met yet, too complicated ;-). We met in a quiet local pub and it was a very pleasant evening. Conversation was easy and he's really good company. Apart from the fact that we had very different accents (he's English) and had to repeat one or two things the conversation flowed all night. Also, quite funny cos he's very skinny and I'm so not - what's it they say about opposites?

Will be meeting again soon I think. Watch this space.

Ssshhh!

Don't tell anyone but Curly K has a date tomorrow night - whey hey! Don't want to say too much right now but happy, happy days. Apart from the former Mr. Right Now I haven't had a date in over a year - jesus my mojo has doubled to dates two a year. If I keep going at this rate by the time I'm sixty I'll never have a night in!!!

Anyway, watch this space............................................and keep everything ye have crossed for me!

Coming on holiday, do you speak Irish sir????

Just after watching the 9 o'clock news on RTE and can't believe what I've heard. This country is gone f**king mad. Excuse the language but seriously - An Bord Pleanala have apparently put a condition on a planning permission for a holiday home in An Cheathrú Rua. The condition is that anyone who will stay in the house for longer than a month must pass an Irish test. Now, whilst I understand the problem with the massive increase in holiday homes and the obvious detrimental effect that it can have on a community - how does putting a stupid clause about the Irish language into planning permissions help the situation? If that clause is put onto all new holiday homes in Gaeltacht areas effectively people cannot go and stay there for more than a month unless they are native Irish speakers. So, if I want to go on holiday for five weeks to An Cheathrú Rua, effectively as a native Irish person who doesn't speak Irish I can't go - yeah now that's logical!

Surely a tax on homes that are built solely as holiday homes would make more sense, it could be implemented on all such homes without creating the ludicrous situation that makes it impossible for tourists or non-irish speaking people to stay in the Gaeltacht for more than four weeks.

Technorati Tags: An Cheathru Rua An Bord Pleanala Irish

Subscribing to blogs & blog abbreviations??

You'd think by now that I'd worked out all the basics but still haven't gotten around to looking into subscribing to other blog feeds so any visiting I do is via web page (even from dial-up sometimes) shock, horror! So decided to ask before I do anything, what is the best way to subscribe to feeds? Might as well do it right first time.

Also, does anyone know if there's a comprehensive list of acronyms and abbreviations that are used in blogging to be found anywhere? Sometimes when I'm reading other peoples blogs I feel thick as shit, 'cos I don't know what the abbreviations stand for!

Technorati Tags: Blogging Blog Subscriptions Blog Abbreviations

Classically good-looking need not apply!

It's a long time since my very wise aunt told me "never go for really good-looking blokes; they've never had to work on their personalities" Her advice has always stuck with me and the wisdom of her words has slapped me in the face a few times.

But tonight I realised that as a general rule I've been equally, if not more, attracted to small guys; like all women who are not skinny or easily placed within the given template for what constitutes an attractive woman, in general small men have to know who they are and have something other than looks to offer. They do not slot easily into the common template of what is supposedly attractive in a man.

I realise that there a lot of men out there who are not attracted to a woman who is not you're classic beauty but likewise there are men who deeply dislike the current dictate of extremely skinny women as the supposedly ideal woman.

Likewise some of the fairer sex, me included, don't idolise the supposedly extremely handsome, six foot guys with a fabulous six pack (to some of us a six pack contains beer and rightly so!!!). Some of us prefer guys who are maybe not as classically handsome but have a hell of a lot to offer - vive la difference! Small, bald, no six pack - whatever, the art of conversation; a lack of arrogance; and a winning smile is sooo much more attractive!

Architecture

Modernism, post-modernism, Prince Charles' famous speech about the carbuncle that was the addition to the British National Gallery in days gone by! Being Curly K is not always easy but the great thing about it, is that, having arrived home after 2am in the morning and after at least 8 gin & tonics I end up watching and enjoying a programme about British Architecture. Points of note are as follows:

• I would love this programme just as much (and probably more) stone-cold sober
• Architecture is such a massively important part of the creative/arts world as well as being a critical part of an evolving society
• Society must embrace the joy of old, but not quite old enough, architecture that is currently being ripped out of the heart of Irish and British towns - not one with a great gra (love) for the Irish language but I must state the obvious on behalf of beleagured architectural styles; their day will come!

Is Friday again!

I get that sweetest feeling, honey the sweetest feeling......la la la la. It's Crunchie time again, thirty eight minutes and the weekend begins again officially. Who knows what it'll bring :-) !

Have a good one y'all

Bloody Jamster!

Is it just me or is Jamster the most annoying fucking pop-up website out there at the minute. Everytime I try to look at new blogs or even look for something simple on the net there it is - fucking pop-up of the century!!!

God help me but I'd love to wring Jamster's neck, if it has one!

End of rant.

How do I remove scratches from CDs?

I've managed to scratch a brand new CD quite badly - duh!!! Anyone got any tips on how to remedy the situation? It was the first bleedin time I played the damn thing!

Also, excuse any funny things going on with the blog at the moment - have just switched to the new Beta Blogger and currently playing around with it to see how it works!

Technorati Tags: CDs Repair Beta Blogger

The rise and rise of RoySeven.......

RoySeven are a fantastic Irish band who are on the way up - fast! They've been signed by Universal and their first single "Older" is due for release on the 8th September and they are playing Whelans on the 25th August to launch the single. Paul Walsh, their lead singer has a fantastic voice and his lyrics are wonderful.

Hotpress spoke very favourably about them back in June;

"One band to agree are fellow Dubliners Roy Seven, formely known as Jove, who have got their just desserts after playing a string of highly acclaimed shows around the capital. Their place of residence didnt stop them attracting interest from as far east as Universal Germany. "Basically someone tipped off Universal Germany, they came to see us one night in Crawdaddy, put their money where their mouth was, and that was that," explains frontman Paul Walsh. My, he makes it sound so easy. "It's cool because there's a great history of Irish bands who sign thier deal outside of Ireland and then come back, or who have made it somewhere else first. Ourselves, we signed a worldwide deal, so we're not focusing on one country". Being signed by a label as far abeit as Germany, is it diffcult to attact a similiar buzz in Dublin? "I don't think it's difficult," he answers. "The cream will always rise. If you're good, you're good. People will acknowledge that. In Ireland as a whole though, it's much more marketing and TV-Led. If you're frok down the country and you do The Late Late Show, then your famous, no two ways about it",!!! What will be their first step as signed artists? "The best thing about the deal is that we had the album written and ready to go, so it's out in July. We knew what we wanted and they essentially gave us the money and left us to it,". Epic and grandstanding in the vein of Muse, RoySeven's debut album The Art Of Insincerity is released in mainland Europe first to coincide with a festival appeatance at Rock am Ring In Germany. An Irish release will folow in September which, Walsh says, "is prehaps a good thing because it's much more of an autuminal album".

Visit their website http://www.royseven.com, join them on bebo or even better buy the single for only €1.99 on www.cdworld.ie You won't regret it, these guys are going to be big, you heard it here first!

Technorati Tags: RoySeven Universal CD World Music

BlogDay 2006 coming!

Today I was searching out blog terms etc. on the net trying to come up to speed with all the acronyms etc. that I don't recognise on blogs when I came upon Blogday on Wikipedia, which apparently is 31st August, which of course I didn't know because I wasn't blogging last year.

Seeing as the whole spirit of the thing is that each blogger recommends 5 blogs, preferably from outside their own country or culture I just wanted to the heads up to others like me who hadn't heard of it. Hopefully it will allow us time to come across blogs that we recommend from outside our own current circles. I don't know about anyone else but it can be quite difficult to get to blogs outside your circle sometimes without having to go through a million absolute crap ones.

So here's what's supposed to happen according to the BlogDay website:

"What is BlogDay?
BlogDay was initiated with the belief that bloggers should have one day which will be dedicated to know other bloggers, from other countries or areas of interests. In that day Bloggers will recommend about them to their Blog visitors.

What will happen on BlogDay?
In one long moment In August 31st, bloggers from all over the world will post a recommendation of 5 new Blogs, Preferably, Blogs different from their own culture, point of view and attitude. On this day, blog surfers will find themselves leaping and discovering new, unknown Blogs, celebrating the discovery of new people and new bloggers.

BlogDay posting instructions:

1. Find 5 new Blogs that you find interesting

2. Notify the 5 bloggers that you are recommending on them on BlogDay 2005

3. Write a short description of the Blogs and place a a link to the recommended Blogs

4. Post the BlogDay Post (on August 31st) and

5. Add the BlogDay tag using this link: http://technorati.com/tag/BlogDay2006 and a link to BlogDay web site at http://www.blogday.org

Celebrate!"

Technorati Tags: BlogDay2006 Wikipedia Blog Terms August 31st

BA Announcement

Until further notice BA has halted all flights from the UK.

BA announced: "I aint getting on no god damn plane, you crazy fool !! "

Technorati Tags: BA

Stress is catching!

I've had my fair share of stress along with every other thirtysomething. It's not fun, and it's really horrible when you're going through it but I've also recently come to the conclusion that it's fucking contagious. Walking in after a stressful day at work with a face like a smacked arse stresses those who are around you. I've tried to de-stress my life as much as possible in recent years, moving, changing job etc. and I've been successful to a certain extent. You can never get rid of stress, we need a level of it in our lives to get things done etc. But up until recently I felt I had eliminated a lot of the excess stress.

However, being on the receiving end of a face like a smacked arse every evening is in itself stressful, particularly when you are just at that point in the evening where you've managed to forget about all that you have to do in work tomorrow, all that you didn't get done today etc.

I am philosophical about this, this too shall pass and I shall return to being one of those barren spinsters who is, in fact, quite able to live alone, without someone else in the house!

Moral of the story is that I believe that people in their thirties are too old to have housemates. Partners, husbands, wives fine, but housemates no! (or maybe it is just me!)

Show a little kindness

Today, as the madness prevades what with the War in Iraq, the War in Lebanon, the terrorist strikes in Israel, the raised terrorist threats in the UK and US and the numerous other atrocities currently being inflicted on our fellow human beings can we take a moment out.

How about starting something good amongst the debris of human nature going wrong? Hate, anger and violence escalate at a phenomenal rate but so too can kindness, empathy and love. So today and over the next few days if we all tried to carry out at least one act of kindness to begin a chain of kindness at least some light is being spread.

Don Morris over on SelfGrowth.com and Oprah to name but a few have advocated such chains for a while and I just think if at least one other person who reads this blog does something kind we can put a little goodness swimming around out there. The idea is that you do selflessly do something unexpectedly nice for someone else either someone you know or don't know. Hopefully a dominor effect is created. As Don states "One person receives a kindness, then passes it on to others, who pass it on to still others. Tiny points of light are multiplied, until the whole world becomes brighter."

While you're at it, why not take the time to smile at that old person standing in the queue next to you - little things make big differences. Yesterday I was driving up town and a young guy who obviously had spina bifida was trying to cross the road. I stopped to let him cross and his smile was something to see, honestly - it would light up a room.

All I'm suggesting is that we try to re-balance our world a little. Positive energy is just as strong as negative energy!

"Kindness gives birth to kindness."

Author:Sophocles (447 BC)

"We make a living by what we get. We make a life by what we give."

Author:Winston Churchill

"A person's true wealth is the good he or she does in the world."

Author:Mohammed

"I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel."

Author:Maya Angelou

Technorati Tags: Don Morris Kindness Chain Oprah Smile

Grocery shop from home my arse!

It's wet, it's miserable and there is no food in the house. Curly K decided to join the new millienium and order her groceries online. No driving, trying to park, remembering to bring bags, lugging the bags to the car, loading the car and unloading after the drive home - fantabulous! You think? Well folks if you don't live in Dublin or Bray online shopping ain't an option with Superquinn and as for tesco if you don't live in Counties Dublin, Meath, Wicklow, Cork, Galway, Limerick, Clare, Waterford, Kildare and Kerry you don't have the luxury of grocery shopping either. Dunnes Stores or Lidl don't appear to offer any online service!

Question: what about the rest of us? Surely those of us living outside the above mentioned Meccas deserve some service too? It's the Twenty-first Century for God's sake!

It's beyond ridiculous that there is a tesco store nearby and I can't avail of the service. At least the Superquinn site encourages you to register, even if you are living outside the delivery areas as they hope to broaden their horizons.

So for now I have to go and get the bags and begin the haul to the shops - bugger!

Technorati Tags: Online Grocery Shopping Tesco Superquinn Dunnes Stores Lidl SuperValu

Hungry men find big women sweet!

Raymond Hainey in the over on Scotsman.com reports that men" who have skipped lunch find larger women more attractive than their slimmer counterparts, new research has revealed. A team of psychologists established that men who are hungry are attracted to plumper women, but the researchers found that, once they had eaten, men's taste in women reverted to those with slimmer figures....."

So that's the secret I've been missing! If men who have merely skipped lunch find us fuller-figured ladies more attractive then logically men who are starving would find us irresistable - anyone know where I can find some hunger-strikers???

So Friday approaches and regular readers will know Curly K loves Fridays. I'm off work tomorrow and heading for the sunny south-east. What do reckon my chances of finding a hungry man down there are?

A bientot, mes amis!

Technorati Tags: Men Attraction

300,000 euros for loo with a view!

DUBLIN (Reuters) - A ramshackle public toilet could fetch 300,000 euros (205,000 pounds) -- the price of a new house -- if politicians in western Ireland get their way. The town of Lahinch reckons property-hungry buyers will snap up the dilapidated, out-of-order loo because of its great location -- a surfing beach on Ireland's rugged Atlantic coast.

"You could leave the toilet block and be in the sea in less than 40 seconds," local politician Martin Conway told Reuters, but admitted: "It's quite remarkable that an old toilet block would fetch 300,000 euros". The average cost of a home in Ireland, where house prices have gone up 15 percent in the past year, is 299,929 euros.

Local property auctioneer Nicola Leyden said the site, overlooking Ireland's best known surfing spot, was breathtaking: "It's probably the most sought after pee you'll ever take on the west coast of Ireland".

(c) http://uk.news.yahoo.com/02082006/80-132/300-000-euros-loo-view.html

I have three loos in my house, wonder if anyone would take two off my hands?? Sure I only need one and as it doesn't look like I'll win the lotto anytime soon, I could do with the cash!

Technorati Tags: Property

I think too much!

When I began this blog I probably expected it to be more political, opinionated on what's going on in the world. Whilst I've given my tuppence worth about some world events etc. I still haven't managed to blog about things such as the appalling situation in Lebanon and Israel. That is not to say that I don't have opinions on such matters, nor that I haven't thought about them or tried to inform myself about what's happening.

It comes down to a couple of factors. Firstly, for some reason the blog has become somewhere where I can dump random, even silly thoughts that go around in my head. Secondly, whilst I can easily discuss such matters face to face and throw out opinions/rebuttals at will in conversation, I always feel that if I write down my thoughts on situations such as Lebanon, it should be done with care, a lot of thought and from a very informed position. Such precision takes time and effort and I don't always have both to hand easily. Thirdly, I am reluctant at times to write really long posts. Personally, when reading blogs I find that long posts have to be very engaging for me to stick with them sometimes.

One thing I have learned since I began blogging is that I think way too much. Maybe in ways my blogging began as so many interests such as Sudoku do, to distract me. If I'm sitting with nothing to do my brain just doesn't stop. From what I have to do/didn't do at work, to mundane things I have to do in the house, to how situations such as Lebanon could possibly resolved, it's non-stop.

A former Linguistics lecturer of mine once told us "we are constantly doing language", ie even when we are not talking there is a constant stream of language going through our minds. My God he was right.

Think I need to go back to Yoga, it's the only time I've ever been able to really switch off and get to that floaty place where there is no background noise!

Technorati Tags: Thinking World Politics Blogging Yoga

Yellow "Ugly Bug"

Picture the scene; mid 1970s, small town Ireland, little girl, curly hair in pigtails, shirt with big collars ........ you get the idea. When I was little I used to have this really, really cool bicycle/pedal car thing. It was a yellow, four-wheeled, with two bug-eyed lights on the front and had a bar to steer it.

Now try as I might I cannot find anything about such a thing anywhere on the internet. Incredible - is my memory playing tricks on me, am I heading for premature dementia or did such a thing really exist. As far as I can recall it was made by Raleigh.

Does anybody else remember something similiar? I would love to find a photo of one to post here - they were just so cool.

Answers on a postcard please. (If I receive no answers I'm heading for a check-up to ensure demetia is not setting in!)

Technorati Tags: Ugly Bug Raleigh Nostalgia 1970s

Childish, I know!

Just going through my yahoo email and had to laugh; got two emails from someone called Fanny entitled "Wish you could do better" and "Don't get left behind". It's my toilet sense of humour I know but at least it gave me a giggle and yes of course, they're about penis enlargement. Fanny obviously hasn't read my blog!

Technorati Tags: Humour Spam

Yummy mummys rule!

Yummy mummys rule, it's official. Any fellow singleton women should sit up and take note. Everytime I go out with any of my friends who have recently become mums, I swear they are men magnets. Maybe it's just the fact that they really just want to have a great night away from nappies, bottles and the little darlings but it's like having your own personal man attractor sitting beside you.

Friday night I went out with a good friend of mine and had a great night out. I didn't meet anyone or anything like that but we had such a laugh and the amount of guys who came up chatting to us was incredible for small town Ireland. That said, I do think Friday night is also a factor, I always enjoy Friday nights so much more than Saturdays. It's a much more relaxed night out and whilst they're are fewer people out I think often the crowd is much more interesting.

So from now on I'm dragging my friends who have joined the Yummy Mummy club out with me every Friday - if I can entice them away from colic, nappies, breastfeeding/making up bottles, or sitting waiting for the progeny to do something such as smile!

PS Curly K was very virtuous on Saturday night, stayed in, no alcohol and in bed early - finally am getting sense (although the fact I had a gypy tummy and was knackered might have had more to do with it!)

Technorati Tags: Yummy Mummys Men

The weekend approacheth!

Well almost there again - thank God / crunchie / fuck (delete as appropriate)! Won't be around tomorrow as have to go out of town for a meeting. For once I'm actually glad not to be driving, despite usually loving it. No, I've really gone off Fridays for driving, every gobshite in the country is rushing to go somewhere and the jams in a lot of rural towns on primary routes are a bloody nightmare. So folks, tomorrow I'm being driven for a change, alas though it doesn't mean I can leave any later so early start in the morning!

Well not going to say I'm heading on the tear this weekend, it so didn't work last weekend. Gorgeous, reasonably priced meal with the aul pair last Friday but I'd nearly go so far as to say that Saturday night was a waste of time to get dolled up for; the late bar was nothing short of a cattle mart, there wasn't room to breathe.

So this weekend I'm going out for another meal with a good friend to play catch-up since she joined the Yummy Mummy club and Saturday I'll probably take it easy. Although I am invited to a party which will probably be good craic. Maybe I will go, what are the chances of losing a couple of stone in a day???? Jaysus, I am truly an eternal optimist.

Have a good one folks, and as they used to say in NYPD Blue, be careful out there.

Technorati Tags: Weekend Optimist NYPD Blue

Spaghetti Westerns!

Sitting here surfing the web and listening to Today FM as I do so and they've just played that ubiquitous piece of music that seemed to appear on every spaghetti western. Reminds me of my childhood. It was a real treat to get staying up to watch a spaghetti western. There are about three readers of this blog who will remember what I'm talking about.

Summer holidays and one of the greats was on the telly; A fistful of dollars, The good, the bad and the ugly. You get the gist of it. And if we were really good we could stay up late to watch it. Fantastic. If we were really good there might even be chips from the greasy spoon take away where the owner was more Italian than his Italian wife, despite coming from down the road. God, those chips were greasy but bleedin lovely. I can still smell them.

So we're tucked up on the sofa, bellies full of greasy chips and it begins. The music goes on forever and eventually a huge guy in spurs, cowboy hat and a poncho swaggers onto the screen. You just know there's going to be lots of shooting, brilliant. Tomorrow we can borrow the brother's gun and caps and pretend we're in Mexico.

But back to the film, there's not much talking. A lot of moody stares, looking surrepticiously out from under the cowboy hat. Lots of hands by the side, every ready for action, like a battery! There are lots of scuffles, gunfights on the street, hijackings in the canyons, flirtations with the ladies (who I now know are the local prostitutes) in the saloon, they consume copious whiskys, sasperillas and tequillas, play a fair bit of poker and ride for hours in the dusty, never-ending wild west.

Finally the real shooting begins, a dual on the main street of the one horse town. The good guy staggers, he keels but by God the he has won, that last shot he managed to get off, after taking two straight hits, has managed to kill his target. The local undertaker cum bartender cum preacher He rides into the sunset, lots of loot in his pocket and a mysterious look on his face. He'll be back and maybe we'll get HB ice-cream in a wafer to go with the chips the next time.

Ah the memories; good memories!

Technorati Tags: Spaghetti Westerns Memories The Good, the Bad and the Ugly HB Ice-Cream

Who is the Stig?

Answers on a postcard to Curly K please? We all know that the previous incumbent was Mr. Perry McCarthy but is the current Stig one famous driver or numerous individuals? If it is in fact numerous individuals I think I shall write to the BBC and ask if I can have a go - what better way to meet Clarkson, Hammond and May???

Technorati Tags: Top Gear The Stig BBC Two

Everything has a price!

Trying to get your blog looking the way you want it to, if your not a technical person, can be, not to put too fine a point on it, a complete pain in the arse. Since I started blogging, I've managed to become fairly au fait with Blogger, understand basic html changes that I can make in my template and how to put in other bits n pieces on the template. Great, marvellous, wonderful, except a lot of the nice little extras that you get on the web have bloody scripts in them that open pop-ups, ads etc and that bugs the shit outta me. Ok, even if it only my mother that reads this blog regularly, I personally hate all that crap when I go surfing and want to avoid it like the plague on my own blog.

So I have removed the tag-board, the referrers list and a few other bits cos I ain't clever enough to work out (a) which one was causing the pop-ups (b) how to stop that happening and still retain the extras on the blog! If there are still pop-ups or anything else annoying on the blog when you log on please let me know either in comments or via my email.

By the way, does anyone know of a good website that offers advice on the tech side of blogging; templates etc. that isn't aimed at getting more adverts etc. onto blogs and that isn't too technical (for us non-IT heads that blog)

Also, just wanted to say whey, hey to Damien Mulley who managed to get almost 30,000 visitors to his blog in just one day, due to his well-written, witty (and instructive to some!) piece on how to use google to get a girl and get laid - respect!


Technorati Tags: Blogging Adverts Pop-ups Damien Mulley

Amen

A man goes up to the minister at the local church.

"Reverend," he said, "We have a problem. My wife keeps falling asleep during your sermons. It's very embarrassing, not to mention disrespectful. What should I do?"

"I've noticed this and have an idea "if you're up to the task," said the minister." Take this hatpin with you. I will be able to tell when Mrs. Jones is sleeping, and I will motion to you at specific times. When I motion, you give her a good poke in the leg."

So, in church the following Sunday, Mrs. Jones dozed off. Noticing this, the preacher put his plan to work.

"And who made the ultimate sacrifice for you?" he said, nodding to Mr.Jones.

"Jesus!" Mrs. Jones cried out as her husband jabbed her in the leg with the sharp object.

"Yes! You are correct, Mrs. Jones!" came the minister's quick reply.

Soon, Mrs. Jones nodded off again. And again, the minister noticed."Who is your redeemer?" he asked the congregation, motioning toward Mr. Jones.

"My God!" howled Mrs. Jones as she was stuck again with the pin.

"Right again!" bellowed the minister, a slight grin on his face.

Before long, Mrs. Jones again winked off. However, this time the minister did not notice. As he picked up the tempo of his sermon, he made a few hand gestures that Mr. Jones mistook as signals. Mr. Jones sharply poked his wife with the hatpin yet again as the minister asked,

“And what did Eve say to Adam after she bore him his 99th son?"

Mrs. Jones screamed, "You stick that f***ing thing in me one more time and I'll break it in half and shove it up your ass!"

"Amen!" replied all the women in the congregation

Technorati Tags: Humour Joke

Dear God, it's me Curly K...

Dear God,

It's me Curly K and despite having a not too good start to my day today (sleeping in, walking in dog's doodoo etc.), things here are good. It's Friday, it's sunny and I'm off out for dinner. God, I don't mind that it's with my parents this time as I have the valid excuse that it was recently my Dad's birthday so at least I won't feel like I'm out with them because I have no-else to go out with! Also, dear God, I got some good work done today but as ever, I do wish you give me a helping hand to do a lot better. Maybe we can discuss my list of things I need assistance with, such as keeping a tidy desk, answering my emails in a timely manner, how a filing system works in practice, and how to be a motivated and effective housekeeper at your earliest convenience dear God (I do realise you're busy helping people who need serious assistance with their health etc. but really we do need to discuss the issue sooner rather than later).

Aside from that dear God, I just wanted to let you know that I'm feeling decidely chirpy this afternoon. I think I shall go out tomorrow night and hit the tiles - I'm just in the mood right now but we'll wait and see what tomorrow brings.

Whilst we're chatting dear God maybe you'd keep an eye on a acquaintance of mine, Doris, who has recently gone on a break. I do hope she enjoys it and returns soon. Also, maybe, you'd send a little ray of sunshine to another acquaintance, CatGirl, she's feeling a teensy bit glum today so maybe you'd cheer her up a little.

I also wanted to tell you that today I don't mind about being a lardy-arse, honestly, I'm focusing on my assets and keeping positive.

Well gotta go do some work. Talk soon.

Curly K

Crossing the river

Three men were hiking through a forest when they came upon a large, raging, violent river.

Needing to get on the other side, the first man prayed, "God, please give me the strength to cross the river."Poof! God gave him big arms and strong legs and he was able to swim across in about 2 hours, having almost drowned twice.

After witnessing that, the second man prayed, "God, please give me strength and the tools to cross the river."Poof! God gave him a rowboat and strong arms and strong legs and he was able to row across in about an hour after almost capsizing once.

Seeing what happened to the first two men, the third man prayed, "God, please give me the strength, the tools and the intelligence to cross this river." Poof! He was turned into a woman. She checked the map, hiked one hundred yards up stream and walked across the bridge

Technorati Tags: Humour Joke

Top Gear - you just gotta love it!

You just gotta love Top Gear. I love Clarkson, May and Hammond - the repartee amongst and the prevailing sense that making the programme is great fun! I absolutely love driving even in my crappy car (obviously my wallet likes the theory of being a car lover more than the practice!) and learning about new cars (and what I'm missing with my old VW from the last decade!). Apart from loving the topic however, I do think that Top Gear is simply fantastic television.

There you have boys, a lady wot likes cars and loves Top Gear!!

Technorati Tags: Top Gear Cars Motoring

What a weekend!

Well, landed back into Dublin Airport in the middle of the Friday afternoon rush and getting out the big smoke was a nightmare but I eventually made it home in time to rush to get the false tan on for the wedding the next day.

The wedding - what can I say - it was a great day. Despite having to bump into my ex who was nearer Mr. Right than poor old Mr. Right Now ever was. Discovered the money I'd spent on the beautiful jacket was wasted as it was such a beautiful day. Danced like a diva all night, despite being arthritic and having blisters that I'd managed to acquire whilst abroad. Drank like a fish and yet remained relatively sober all night. Had good fun with people I'd never met before and was even informed by the ex that he'd f***ed up in letting me go! Shan't read too much into the comment as a lot of drink had been consumed by that time! All in all a great day despite my dread of it prior to the big day - the dread of attending a wedding alone is omnipresent for those of us who are single.

Very tired today however, think all the flights, meetings and dancing and drinking at the wedding are catching up!

Technorati Tags: Wedding Flights Mr. Right Now Drink

Christ, no wonder there's carnage on our roads!

This post comes to you from Dublin Airport on this beautiful Tuesday morning. Boy am I glad to be here at all. Talk about taking your life in your hands driving on any main route to Dublin from anytime after 6.30am! Seriously it is no wonder that the carnage levels are rising daily. I drove sitting just touching the 100km mark on my speedometer and the amount of dangerous overtaking I witnessed on the road this morning really shocked me. I drive around the country quite a lot for work but today takes some beating. I truly hope that those lunatics that overtook two and three cars at a time today put those few extra minutes they may have gained to good use. What was the point, the traffic was really heavy, so they end up weaving like lunatics - to get there maybe ten minutes earlier? What is really aggravating is that if they'd just sat at a nice steady speed and avoided causing others to have to brake to let them in when they misjudged their overtaking distances then everyone would have been travelling at more steady speed, in a safer manner and perhaps some of the atrocities that we have witnessed on our roads recently could have been avoided.

Don't get me wrong, I don't claim to be a perfect driver but I would never overtake on bad bends, in heavy traffic across a full white line. I lost count of the number of cars I witnessed doing just that this morning.

End of rant. I'm off to to the hopefully sunny continent for work. Hopefully I shall be able to smoke in bars, buy cheap cigarettes, oh and of course, work very, very hard.

Will log on again as soon I can. Meanwhile, drive carefully out there.

Technorati Tags: Roads Carnage Driving Airport

The skinny on what's been happening with Curly K!

Briefly what's been happening with me since I last logged on is as follows:

• George Clooney still hasn't returned my phone calls - bastard!
• Have yet to lose about five stone and turn into a sex goddess - why?
• Mr. Right Now has become Mr. Gone - couldn't do it any longer, he was a lovely guy but so not for me, so I'm single again - what's new?
• Practically every female friend and acquintance I know is pregnant - seriously!
• Have a wedding to go to very soon - great!
• Found an outfit that fits and looks good for the day that is not a dress - fantastic!
• But have to go alone - shite!
• Plus my ex from just before Mr. Right Now will be there - even bigger shite!
• Will be out of the country again most of next week with work - grand
• Get to visit another place I've not yet been - brilliant!

I'll be back

Well contrary to recent rumours I was not away on some exotic island living in the lap of luxury, neither was I off getting drastic plastic done in some eastern european country. The truth of the matter, is in fact much more mundane. Between work commitments, problems with laptops, house-hunting (for a friend) and other things going on I simply haven't had a chance to get near my blog. The fact that my own blog hasn't been updated doesn't overly worry me, however, I do now feel guilty that I have not read my favourite blogs in far too long and now have some serious catching up to do:

• Has CatGirlSpeaks bought another new dress or two, what's the skinny on RH etc.?
• What wonders has little Grace Violetta brought into Omani's hectic life recently?
• How has Paige bounced back from the shitty time she had a little while ago?
• Is Mr. Doris still as wonderful as ever?
• How wonderful was Boston for Kev?
• Which news tidbits has JL dissected and commented upon for us?
• Has Connor bought a new people carrier?
• Did Maca bring Tayto, Lyons Teabags and Dennys Rashers back from Ireland?
• Has Winds settled back into normality after her fantastic trip down under?
• Who's baby has Kaz been babysitting recently?
• What in the world has Arse End of Ireland seen recently that has made her blood boil?

Alas I have learned a lesson from this break, that everything you enjoy in life comes with a price tag and blogging for me can enduce guilt if I don't manage to keep up to date with those bloggers I kept in regular contact with until recently! The break has also taught me how I deal with organise my life to certain extent. If I get on with things and keep going I'm good, however, if I put something off, it begins to niggle at me, inducing a feeling of guilt. Then I procrastinate a little longer, putting things off again, allowing tasks to become more arduous and guilt inducing.

So I have eventually taken the bull by the horns and logged on again. I will try to play catch up but have made a decision to take things slowly - I will try not to get my knickers in a twist to catch up with every minutiae from my favourite blogs.

Technorati Tags: Curly K Blogging Break Return

Blog News

I......

I have been tagged by Julie Midas, so here goes:

I AM:

A strong, independent woman who doesn't do girly but can be as soft as butter with the right handling!

I'm also, congenitally untidy in my house, office etc. but never my mind!

Constantly amazed by the resilience of the human spirit.

Grateful for my family and friends.

I WANT:

To stop faffing around, get my arse in gear and tidy my bedroom and organise my new mortgage and car!

To travel more, there are so many places to see and things to do.

I WISH:

That my loved ones didn't have to go through the heartache that some of them have had in the past.

That I were disciplined enough to be fitter, thinner and more organised.

I HATE:

People who treat me like an idiot or half-wit, questioning my intelligence outrages me and makes me get very uppity with them.

Housework especially ironing and hoovering.

I MISS:

My sister who lives way too far away for me to able to pop in for a cuppa.

Some of my friends who also live quite far away.

I FEAR:

Losing my independence, should my arthritis ever get worse.

How I would cope if I ever did have children.

I HEAR:

The distant sound of the traffic outside my office window and a blue-bottle fly buzzing around the window. (He won't be there very much longer!)

I WONDER:

If I'll ever meet my soulmate and have a family.

What people really think of me!

I REGRET:

Any hurt I've ever caused my loved ones, especially my mother.

I AM NOT:

The World's best housekeeper, a good singer, skinny, blonde, or dumb.

I DANCE:

Too little these days but quite well for a lardy arse when I get going!

I SING:

Lots especially in my car but not terribly well albeit better than my housemate!

I CRY:

Rarely but usually by myself.

I AM NOT ALWAYS:

As tolerant with people as I could be or as energetic as I should be.

I MAKE WITH MY HANDS:

Bugger all really but when I try I'm quite a good cook.

I WRITE:

Quite good reports and summaries for work.

Only using full words and sentences where possible in email and texts- I'm generally not a big fan of text abbreviations.

I CONFUSE:

Other people sometimes, I'm not sure if they always get me.

I NEED:

A hug and a back massage.

I also need to get fit.

I SHOULD:

Become the best person I can possibly be.

Be tidier and more organised.

Remember and be grateful for the wonderful things in my life more often.

I START:

What I finish.

To let my mind wander in work sometimes.

To dream about what can be quite a lot.

I FINISH:

Those things which interest and challenge me most, the quickest.

My sister's sentences sometimes.

I tag Doris, Conor, Omani, JL and Paige should they wish to take part, no pressure.

Technorati Tags: Doris JL Conor Omani Paige Julie Midas

Gizz a job!

Resumé of Vicky Pollard

ADDRESS: Dur – I live with my mum – init!
TELEPHONE: Yeah right, I aint givin' you my number!
EMAIL: yeh_but_no_but_yeh_but@hotmail.com

ACADEMIC QUALIFICATIONS

Yeah but, no but, yeah but, what it was right, I sat next to Kelly Smith and she totally copied off me cos I told everyone about her wanking off Kevin smith outside McDonalds but Mrs Dodson like TOTALLY busted ME for it and said I was cheating and OH MY GOD I so cant believe she did that cos anyway everyone knows she’s a lezzer.

EXPERIENCE

1996 Pregnant
1997 Pregnant again
1998 Pregnant again
1999 Pregnant again

2000 South London young offenders institute

Yeh but, no but, yeh but, no but, what it was right, I never done nothin’ right but Sharon Gordon said I stole that money from Mr Jackson wallet but I never did it right and anyway it was only 20 quid so she’s a slag and she just hates me cos I told everyone about that time when she shat herself on the bus on that school trip to Blackpool

2001 McDonalds

Responsibilities
§ Serving Burgers and fries and that
Achievements
§ Ate 12 Big Macs a day

I never spat in them burgers - they was well out of order for firing me that is so unfair! This is like, well sexual harassment! God, this is exactly like the time Miss Rennig, who everyone knows is a total lesbian, made Candice Burton stay behind after PE, started telling her off for gobbing on Sunita Geschwani's hair. But everyone knows she only made her stay late because she wanted to get off with her, cuz when she was telling her off her legs were wide open and Candice reckons she could see her spider.

2002 Pregnant again

2003 Burger King

Responsibilities
§ Serving Burgers and fries and that
Achievements
§ Ate 13 Whoppers a day - Stop giving me evils!
§ I never put tampons in the burgers - they was well out of order for firing me

2004 South London young offenders institute again

What it was right, I never done nothin’ right but Pauline Jackson said I put tampons in the burgers but I never did and anyway it was only that one time and Kevin Hops TOTALLY deserved it right cos he told everyone that I got fingered by Wayne Daniels outside wimpy but anyway he didn’t even finger me he stuck it up my arse hole and he’s just jealous cos everyone knows he’s a puff

2005 On Welfare

2006 South London young offenders institute again

Yeh but, no but, what it was right, I never done nothin’ right but Tara Watson said I nicked her stereo right but I never nicked nuthin right and anyway it was only some shitty AKAI so she’s a slag and she just hates me cos she’s a lezzer and I told everyone about that time when she got fishy fingered by Kelly smith behind the Little Chef in Brixton and anyway don't listen to her coz everyone knows her fanny goes sideways.

Technorati Tags: Vicky Pollard Resume Little Britain Humour

Dave with no ears

Dave, sadly was born without ears. This concerned him greatly but because he was a very successful businessman he could forget about it quite easily. One day he needed to hire a new manager for his company. He set up three interviews. The first guy was great. He knew everything he needed to know and was very interesting. But at the end of the interview, Dave asked him, "Do you notice anything different about me?" "Why, yes, I couldn't help but notice that you have no ears," came the reply. Dave did not appreciate his candour and threw him out of the office.

The second interview was with a woman, and she was even better than the first guy. But he asked her the same question: "Do you notice anything different about me?" "Well," she said stammering, "you have no ears." Dave again got upset and chucked her out in a rage.

The third and final interviewee was the best of the bunch, he was a young man who had recently earned his BSc(Hons). He was smart. He was handsome and he seemed to be a better businessman than the first two put together. Dave was anxious, but went ahead and asked the young man the same question: "Do you notice anything different about me?" And much to his surprise, the young man answered, "Yes, you wear contact lenses, don't you?" Dave was shocked and realised this was an incredibly observant person. "How in the world did you know that?", he asked. The young man fell off his chair laughing hysterically and replied, "Well, it's pretty hard to wear glasses with no f***ing ears!!

Technorati Tags: Humour Joke Job Interview Success

Miscellany

SAFE SEX

Driving home from a meeting down the country this evening I was listening to the Matt Cooper on Today FM. He had some lady on from the Mothers at Home group responding to some expert they had on the programme yesterday who had advocated teenagers wait till they are ready to have sex and do so in a responsible safe way. Yer wan from the Mothers at Home group came on to say that the only truly safe sex was within the confines of a marriage. Dear God, it's Curly K here, please let me get married very soon - I've waited long enough!

CHERISH YOUR WORKFORCE

It's really good to see that the incumbent Government cherishes those who work day in and out to provide its services. Bertie has now had a pop at the former Chief Executive and Management team of Aer Lingus, accusing them of trying to steal the company's assets. This follows on from Mary Harney's scurrilous remarks about nurses not so long ago as well as the continuing efforts to force, FAS workers and other public servants to leave their homes and move out of Dublin, through reduced promotion opportunities etc. Perhaps they should re-evaluate their own performances and indeed substantial payrises during their own terms of office before saying anything further. The Government's successes to date with solving the health crisis, lack of proper transport infrastructure, proper educational facilities and adequate services for our most vunerable in society etc. have hardly been outstanding. Rather farcical is a word that comes to mind when one analyses the Government's performance. However, this did not deter nice fat pay rises and ever decreasing work days in the Dail - keep goin lads, the elections are fast approaching!

LAZINESS

I also heard on the radio that somewhere in Co. Longford today a man was spotted driving his car slowly whilst wheeling one of those distance measuring wheel thingies - jaysus, that's what I call lazy!

Technorati Tags: Safe Sex Irish Government Laziness Miscellany

Shopping for Mortgages - help!

So I want/need to switch mortgage lenders for a number of reasons, trouble is I'd rather chew my arm off than shop around for mortgage deals! Working out the various interest rates, charges for switching/administration, terms of mortgages etc. must surely be one of the most tortuous processes ever invented!

If you have any tips on how to ease that process please, please, please let me know. Know of any good websites that compare / contrast / work the whole thing out for you - again please let me know. It's not that I'm thick or won't eventually work out the best value / deal for me, it's just that the whole interest rate thing bores me senseless so all suggestions gratefully received.

Technorati Tags: Mortgage Lenders Interest Rates Deals Help

I saw this and thought of you..........

The important thing is not to stop questioning.
Albert Einstein


There is more to life than increasing its speed.
Gandhi


People are just about as happy as they make up their minds to be.
Abraham Lincoln


No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
Eleanor Roosevelt


Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll land among the stars.
Les Brown


Friends are those rare people who ask how we are and then wait to hear the answer.
Ed Cunningham


The most wasted of all days is one without laughter.
E. E. Cummings


...if we wait for the moment when everything, absolutely everything is ready, we shall never begin.
Ivan Turgenev


You may be disappointed if you fail, but you are doomed if you don't try.
Beverly Sills


He who angers you conquers you.
Elizabeth Kenny


I learned that it is the weak who are cruel, and that gentleness is to be expected only from the strong.
Leo Rosten


You will never find time for anything. If you want the time, you must make it.
Charles Buxton


The supreme happiness in life is the conviction that we are loved.
Victor Hugo


Snowflakes are one of nature's most fragile things, but just look what they can do when they stick together.
Vista M. Kelly


The only place you'll find success before work is in the dictionary.
May B. Smith


Technorati Tags: Famous Quotes Life Inspiration Motivation

Found my mojo cont'd. - Mr. Right Now!

For those of you who read my previous post Found my mojo! I've decided to give ye all a quick update on what's been happening since. Contestant number three, currently re-named Mr. Right Now has kept in touch and we've been out for dinner and / or drinks each weekend since!

Don't misconstrue the name Mr. Right Now - I am not using him or simply making do till something better comes along. It's simply that right now is all I can think about. I just want to see what happens - I'm taking my own advice and taking it easy, not rushing into anything and not reading too much into the situation.

He's lovely, kind, considerate, easy-going, good company and not jealous (can't stand jealous men - as I usually say, no-one's tried to run away with me so far, I'm hardly going to become an irresistable sex siren just 'cos I happen be dating!). However, I did have to have the chat about me wanting to take things easy. I just felt he is getting more involved than I am and whilst I don't want to run scared neither do I want to hurt someone so genuine and kind. It's a delicate balance and hopefully I'm managing to keep things on an even keel at the minute.

Whilst we get on very well, the lack of things in common does concern me a little. Also, he's really quiet - which makes it quite strange that he's taken with me seeing as I could never be described as quiet - unless someone gagged me (I'm not suggesting that by the way!). That said I do enjoy his company plus I can be sure he wants to be out with me as he can't blame beer goggles etc. seeing as he doesn't really drink.

One of the things I've noticed is that my mojo is apparently still good. Whilst out on Saturday night a guy who I had a brief thing with years ago and have stayed relatively friendly with, took it upon himself to inform Mr. Right Now that I was a fantastic woman, one of the best (he did however add the proviso, "if you can tame her!" - not sure where that came from, I've never been exactly wild, although I suppose I can be headstrong!). Also, I've just been chatted up so much more than I have ever been in my life in the last few weeks and that started before Mr. Right Now. Maybe it's the fact that I am in my thirties and don't actually worry as much about what people think (of course I still do, but like in my twenties!). Perhaps you just grow into your own skin a little more.

Anyway, will keep you informed but at the moment my biggest problem is that I'm absolutely knackered - I haven't had so many nights out in a long time!

Technorati Tags: Mojo Dating Mr. Right Now Single

Photo (c); http://bighappyfaces.com

He still wants to give me money!

Dear Professor Soludo,

What a blessing to hear from you again. Are you sure that it right that we continue when the amount was mistakenly approved in my name. I know you say we must keep it confidential but if Father McDoogood was to hear of me taking money that wasn't rightfully mine he could be very upset. I would not like to do something wrong, sure there's no point in going to church every week if you are going to knowingly sin. I will pray for guidance on this matter.

You asked me for details which I list below for you information:

1) Your full names and contact address

My full name is Concepta Attracta Majella Knots


2) Your direct tel/fax numbers for easy communication.

My telephone number is 00 353 (premium phoneline number was inserted here!) but I don't have a fax number.

3) Any identification of your goodself or copy of your international passport for recognition.

Unfortunately, Professor, I don't drive as Ballygobackwards is quite a small town and everything is nearby. Also, seeing as I have never left Ireland I don't have a passport.

4)Your Bank Account information where this fund will be transfered to.

My bank is Bank of Munster, Side Street, Ballygobackwards, Co. Waterford, Ireland. The manager there is Mr. Lotaloot and he's a very kind man.

Professor, I do hope that I am doing the right thing, you are a good Christian, aren't you?

Best wishes from Ireland

Concepta Knots






Date: Wed, 10 May 2006 16:21:41 -0700 (PDT)
From: “prof charles Soludo" Subject: THANKS FOR YOUR RESPONSE!
To: "Curly K"


Dear Concepta Knots

Thanks for your willingnes to carry on this deal with me,Frankly speaking I am the Governor Central Bank of Nigeria and I am aware that you did not execute any contract with the Nigerian Government but you should be glad that this payment was mistakenly approved in your name and i am the only person that knows about it.

However, I want us to work as a team and claim the funds into your account whereby I will execute the neccesary step and furnish you with all the information needed as to claiming the payment, please keep this transaction secret and you should not discuss this with anybody until the original copy of the draft is delivered to you, this transfer deserves utmost secrecy and confidentiality with total commitment to achieving it positively.

Therefore, i shall appreciate you send to me immediately the following informations below to proceed.

1) Your full names and contact address
2) Your direct tel/fax numbers for easy communication.
3) Any identification of your goodself or copy of your international passport for recognition.
4)Your Bank Account information where this fund will be transfered to.

These informations will enable me to process all other doucuments needed to actualise this transfer in your favour, Please you should try to provide a reliable bank account where this fund will be transfered and absolute correspondence.

Awaits your response soonest.
Prof Charles Soludo.

Technorati Tags: Email Scam Professor Charles Soludo Central Bank of Nigeria Humour

20% of US$35,214,000 is how much????

Actually its $7,042,800, bless their hearts! As you can see below I got another email from a kind Zimbabwean soul living in South Africa this time. Sure, the sweet man wants to give me 20% of over $35 million, how could I not write to him! I will let you know as soon as I get a reply to either the email below or the one sent on Tuesday.

Dear Kuta,

Many thanks for your email. I was indeed surprised to hear that someone in Zimbabwe had managed to get my address from the South African Chamber of Commerce in Johannesburg as I don’t understand how important people in such a faraway place came to hear about me, here in Ballygobackwards. Also, Kuto, it seems amazing that such important people even knew my nickname Curly K. Sure I thought only my good business associates knew that, nevertheless, as you know the Lord works in mysterious ways. I just wanted to let you know that my real name is Concepta Knots in case you need it for any paperwork.

Kuto, I am so sorry to hear about your troubles, it must be especially hard for you coming from a good God fearing background. Also it must be hard to know that there is US$35.214.000.00 in a bank that you cannot touch whilst you are forced to be a refugee. It’s a sin. Kuto, I cannot believe would be so generous to give away 20% of this amount, it’s a lot of money but you are obviously a very kind man.

Kuto, I would love to help you and look forward to hearing from you soon.

Best wishes from Ireland

Concepta Knots (Curly K)

----- Original Message ----
From: kuta khumalo kuta_khumalo_006@hotmail.com
Sent: Sunday, 7 May, 2006 11:41:57 PM
Subject: MY FAMILY NEED YOUR ASSISTANCE


MR Kuta Khumalo
NO.16 ANDERSON STREET
MANDELA CRESENT.
JOHANNESBURG 2001


Dear Curly K,

CONFIDENTIAL.

My name is Kuta Khumalo the eldeset son of Mr.Joseph Khumalo of Zimbabwe. This might come to you as a surprise about where I got your contact address. I got your address from the South African Chamber of Commerce in Johannesburg, South Africa.

During the current war against the farmers in Zimbabwe from the supporters of our President Robert Mugabe to claim all the white-owned farms to his party members and his followers, he ordered all white farmers to surrender all their farms to his party members and his followers.

My father was one of the best farmers in our country and because he did not support Mugabe's ideas, Mugabe's supporters invaded my father's farm and burnt everything in the farm, killing my father and made away with a lot of items in my father's farm. Before his death, my father had deposited with one of the Security Company in Johannesburg, South Africa the sum of (US$35.214.000.00) (Thirty Five Million, Two hundred and Fourteen Thousand.United States Dollars).with my name and made every documents with my name both the certificate of depository. Then after the death of my father, we decided to move to the Republic of South Africa where he had deposited the money in the Security Company as family valuables.

So, I decided to contact you to assist me to transfer this money out of South Africa because as asylum seekers we are not allowed to operate any bank account within South Africa. We have agreed to offer you 20% of the total sum for your assistance, 5% will be mapped out for any expenses that may be incurred in the course of this transaction and 75% will be for me and my family to invest in your country. All I want you to do is to furnish me with your full personal phone and fax numbers for easy communication.

You can contact me on the above Telephone number. Note that this transaction is 100% risk free and absolutely confidential.

Thanks and God bless as I await your reply.
Best Regards,
MR KUTA KHUMALO
(For the Family)

Technorati Tags: Email Scams Concepta Knots Khuto Khumalo Humour

Yes, I'll help you give me $15 million

I decided to reply to one of those emails telling me they were giving me lotsamoney! Here's what I sent the esteemed Professor, I await his reply.

Dear Professor Soludo,

Many thanks for your email - I am delighted to hear that you will pay me over 15 million US dollars. Its a pity that the sum was not in Euros as it would be worth more but nevertheless I will accept the dollars sum and try to make to do.

Professor Soludo, I do feel it is my obligation to make you aware that I actually didn't send any email about an outstanding payment owing to me and as a clean living Catholic I could not take what did not belong to me, if you have mistaken me for someone else. Of course, if you need my assistance and would like to pay me for my troubles, well that's a different matter.

Your email brought such good news on so many fronts, not only will I receive a large sum of money for doing my Christian duty and helping someone in trouble but I also see that I will get to meet you and your lovely family eventually when you come to visit Ireland. All this is such good news as we don't get many visitors here in Ballygobackwards. It's a very small rural town you see and the Celtic Tiger never really took hold, more like the Celtic Pussycat, if you get my my drift. That may cause a slight problem in looking for the good business opportunities you discussed in your email but I'll talk to Paddy in the Post Office; he's the man who knows all that goes on in these parts so he might know if anyone has a quota for sale or if there are any good farms on the market (Mr. & Mrs. Doolally are supposed to be retiring soon, so I'll see if their quota is for sale)

Anyway, Professor Soludo, back to business (sorry I digress so much, but I'm that excited you see). As soon as you send me details of how I can help you I will get onto the matter straight away as I have quite a lot of free time these days since I sold my own quota two years ago, making enough profit to ease life for me.

Kind regards,

Curly K

PS Professor Soludo, my real name is Concepta Knots, my friends call me Curly K, will that present a problem with the paperwork which you have already drawn up?

----- Original Message ----
From: PROF CHARLES SOLUDO profcharles_soludo_govt1@yahoo.com
To: curlykfridayANTI-SPAMREMOVE@yahoo.co.uk
Sent: Tuesday, 2 May, 2006 10:18:42 AM
Subject: IMMEDIATE CONTRACT PAYMENT OF US$15.7MILLION.

I have a new email address!

You can now email me at: profcharles_soludo_govt1@yahoo.com

CENTRAL BANK OF NIGERIA

OFFICE OF THE GOVERNOR

TINUBU SQUARE-LAGOS

TEL: 234-80-32273525

Our Ref: CBN/IRD/CBX/021/05

Date:2nd /May/2006

IMMEDIATE CONTRACT PAYMENT OF US$15.7MILLION.

CONTRACT#.MAV/NNPC/FGN/ILT65 004/009).

Attn: Curly K

This is to acknowledge the receipt of your e-mail as regards to your outstanding payment valued at US$15.7M Forwarded to my humble office from the Federal Government for immediate remittance in your favor. I am happy to inform you that your name was on the list ofcontractors to be paid by Central Bank Of Nigeria in this first quota payment of the year 2006, so do not see it as a mistake hence the payment hbeen approved in your name, and the payment will be made to you via an International Certified Bank Draft.

Right now the Draft Issuing Dept and the Telex Dept are making arrangement to issue a bank draft in your name worth US$15.7M, which the original copy of the draft will be delivered to your doorstep through our bankers Diplomatic Courier Service. Frankly speaking I am the Governor Central Bank of Nigeria, and I am aware that you did not execute any contract with the Nigerian Government, but you should be glad that this payment was mistakenly approved in your name, and i am the only person that knows about this.

Therefore, I want us to work as a team and claim the funds into your account whereby I will furnish you with all the necessary information and documents as regards to claiming the payment, please you should not discuss this with anybody until the original copy of the draft is delivered to you, and bear in mind that as soon as you claim the funds, I will visit you in your country for the sharing of the funds. As the Executive Governor of Central Bank, Iwant us to claim the funds into your account whereby I will furnish you with every relevant information/paper work to back up your claim. Meanwhile, I have submitted your name to all the necessary authorities in charge of transfer of the funds into your account and i assure you with utmost sincerity that this transaction is 100% risk free and legal hence i will perfect and programmed the deal in such a way that there will be no trace or problems as soon as the funds are in your account. However i will use my position as a banker to do the underground work perfectly, so you should not entertain any fear, all you need do is to follow my instructions accordingly to enable us claim the funds.

Be informed that as soon as the funds are credited into your account, I will come over to your country with my family to plan for a future investment because I will resign from office here to spend the rest of my life in your country, I will start a lucrative business with my own percentage or I can also go into partnership business with you if you can scout for any business investment that is profit oriented for me where we shall invest the money. Note that once the funds are credited into your account, I shall give you 30% of the total sum for providing an account for me, and all I need from you is to stand as the beneficiary of the funds until it is credited into your account.

Note that all the authorities concerned have your record in their file as the beneficiary of the funds, and I did all these myself to make sure that there will be no trace once the transfer is concluded, bear in mind that you are receiving this payment as if you are receiving your contract payment as a contract executed under the government of Nigeria, so you should be rest assured that this deal is genuine okay, and you do not panic as I will furnish with all the necessary information as the beneficiary of the funds.

Also note that our mode of payment is through an International certified Bank Draft worth US$15.7M, bear in mind that once the draft is delivered to you, you will have to take it to your bank and make deposit in your bank and within 48hours your bank will contact you for immediate confirmation of the funds into your account, perhaps this is just a simple due process which has to be done and this is also the same way real contractors receive their payment.

Meanwhile, I have instructed the Telex dept to issue the bank draft in your name and within 24hours your draft will be ready and you will be advised to contact our Bankers Diplomatic Courier Service for shipment of the original copy to you. Finally, I assure you once again that this deal is for real and needs utmost secrecy and confidentiality until the funds are in your account. Please call me as soon as you receive this message on my direct telephone number above or reply through alternative email address(profcharles_soludo_govt@yahoo.com).

Thanks and hope to hear from you.

Regard.

Prof.Charles Soludo.

Governor Central

Bank Of Nigeria (C.B.N.)

- PROF CHARLES SOLUDO

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