Childish, I know!

Just going through my yahoo email and had to laugh; got two emails from someone called Fanny entitled "Wish you could do better" and "Don't get left behind". It's my toilet sense of humour I know but at least it gave me a giggle and yes of course, they're about penis enlargement. Fanny obviously hasn't read my blog!

Technorati Tags: Humour Spam

Yummy mummys rule!

Yummy mummys rule, it's official. Any fellow singleton women should sit up and take note. Everytime I go out with any of my friends who have recently become mums, I swear they are men magnets. Maybe it's just the fact that they really just want to have a great night away from nappies, bottles and the little darlings but it's like having your own personal man attractor sitting beside you.

Friday night I went out with a good friend of mine and had a great night out. I didn't meet anyone or anything like that but we had such a laugh and the amount of guys who came up chatting to us was incredible for small town Ireland. That said, I do think Friday night is also a factor, I always enjoy Friday nights so much more than Saturdays. It's a much more relaxed night out and whilst they're are fewer people out I think often the crowd is much more interesting.

So from now on I'm dragging my friends who have joined the Yummy Mummy club out with me every Friday - if I can entice them away from colic, nappies, breastfeeding/making up bottles, or sitting waiting for the progeny to do something such as smile!

PS Curly K was very virtuous on Saturday night, stayed in, no alcohol and in bed early - finally am getting sense (although the fact I had a gypy tummy and was knackered might have had more to do with it!)

Technorati Tags: Yummy Mummys Men

The weekend approacheth!

Well almost there again - thank God / crunchie / fuck (delete as appropriate)! Won't be around tomorrow as have to go out of town for a meeting. For once I'm actually glad not to be driving, despite usually loving it. No, I've really gone off Fridays for driving, every gobshite in the country is rushing to go somewhere and the jams in a lot of rural towns on primary routes are a bloody nightmare. So folks, tomorrow I'm being driven for a change, alas though it doesn't mean I can leave any later so early start in the morning!

Well not going to say I'm heading on the tear this weekend, it so didn't work last weekend. Gorgeous, reasonably priced meal with the aul pair last Friday but I'd nearly go so far as to say that Saturday night was a waste of time to get dolled up for; the late bar was nothing short of a cattle mart, there wasn't room to breathe.

So this weekend I'm going out for another meal with a good friend to play catch-up since she joined the Yummy Mummy club and Saturday I'll probably take it easy. Although I am invited to a party which will probably be good craic. Maybe I will go, what are the chances of losing a couple of stone in a day???? Jaysus, I am truly an eternal optimist.

Have a good one folks, and as they used to say in NYPD Blue, be careful out there.

Technorati Tags: Weekend Optimist NYPD Blue

Spaghetti Westerns!

Sitting here surfing the web and listening to Today FM as I do so and they've just played that ubiquitous piece of music that seemed to appear on every spaghetti western. Reminds me of my childhood. It was a real treat to get staying up to watch a spaghetti western. There are about three readers of this blog who will remember what I'm talking about.

Summer holidays and one of the greats was on the telly; A fistful of dollars, The good, the bad and the ugly. You get the gist of it. And if we were really good we could stay up late to watch it. Fantastic. If we were really good there might even be chips from the greasy spoon take away where the owner was more Italian than his Italian wife, despite coming from down the road. God, those chips were greasy but bleedin lovely. I can still smell them.

So we're tucked up on the sofa, bellies full of greasy chips and it begins. The music goes on forever and eventually a huge guy in spurs, cowboy hat and a poncho swaggers onto the screen. You just know there's going to be lots of shooting, brilliant. Tomorrow we can borrow the brother's gun and caps and pretend we're in Mexico.

But back to the film, there's not much talking. A lot of moody stares, looking surrepticiously out from under the cowboy hat. Lots of hands by the side, every ready for action, like a battery! There are lots of scuffles, gunfights on the street, hijackings in the canyons, flirtations with the ladies (who I now know are the local prostitutes) in the saloon, they consume copious whiskys, sasperillas and tequillas, play a fair bit of poker and ride for hours in the dusty, never-ending wild west.

Finally the real shooting begins, a dual on the main street of the one horse town. The good guy staggers, he keels but by God the he has won, that last shot he managed to get off, after taking two straight hits, has managed to kill his target. The local undertaker cum bartender cum preacher He rides into the sunset, lots of loot in his pocket and a mysterious look on his face. He'll be back and maybe we'll get HB ice-cream in a wafer to go with the chips the next time.

Ah the memories; good memories!

Technorati Tags: Spaghetti Westerns Memories The Good, the Bad and the Ugly HB Ice-Cream

Who is the Stig?

Answers on a postcard to Curly K please? We all know that the previous incumbent was Mr. Perry McCarthy but is the current Stig one famous driver or numerous individuals? If it is in fact numerous individuals I think I shall write to the BBC and ask if I can have a go - what better way to meet Clarkson, Hammond and May???

Technorati Tags: Top Gear The Stig BBC Two

Everything has a price!

Trying to get your blog looking the way you want it to, if your not a technical person, can be, not to put too fine a point on it, a complete pain in the arse. Since I started blogging, I've managed to become fairly au fait with Blogger, understand basic html changes that I can make in my template and how to put in other bits n pieces on the template. Great, marvellous, wonderful, except a lot of the nice little extras that you get on the web have bloody scripts in them that open pop-ups, ads etc and that bugs the shit outta me. Ok, even if it only my mother that reads this blog regularly, I personally hate all that crap when I go surfing and want to avoid it like the plague on my own blog.

So I have removed the tag-board, the referrers list and a few other bits cos I ain't clever enough to work out (a) which one was causing the pop-ups (b) how to stop that happening and still retain the extras on the blog! If there are still pop-ups or anything else annoying on the blog when you log on please let me know either in comments or via my email.

By the way, does anyone know of a good website that offers advice on the tech side of blogging; templates etc. that isn't aimed at getting more adverts etc. onto blogs and that isn't too technical (for us non-IT heads that blog)

Also, just wanted to say whey, hey to Damien Mulley who managed to get almost 30,000 visitors to his blog in just one day, due to his well-written, witty (and instructive to some!) piece on how to use google to get a girl and get laid - respect!


Technorati Tags: Blogging Adverts Pop-ups Damien Mulley

Amen

A man goes up to the minister at the local church.

"Reverend," he said, "We have a problem. My wife keeps falling asleep during your sermons. It's very embarrassing, not to mention disrespectful. What should I do?"

"I've noticed this and have an idea "if you're up to the task," said the minister." Take this hatpin with you. I will be able to tell when Mrs. Jones is sleeping, and I will motion to you at specific times. When I motion, you give her a good poke in the leg."

So, in church the following Sunday, Mrs. Jones dozed off. Noticing this, the preacher put his plan to work.

"And who made the ultimate sacrifice for you?" he said, nodding to Mr.Jones.

"Jesus!" Mrs. Jones cried out as her husband jabbed her in the leg with the sharp object.

"Yes! You are correct, Mrs. Jones!" came the minister's quick reply.

Soon, Mrs. Jones nodded off again. And again, the minister noticed."Who is your redeemer?" he asked the congregation, motioning toward Mr. Jones.

"My God!" howled Mrs. Jones as she was stuck again with the pin.

"Right again!" bellowed the minister, a slight grin on his face.

Before long, Mrs. Jones again winked off. However, this time the minister did not notice. As he picked up the tempo of his sermon, he made a few hand gestures that Mr. Jones mistook as signals. Mr. Jones sharply poked his wife with the hatpin yet again as the minister asked,

“And what did Eve say to Adam after she bore him his 99th son?"

Mrs. Jones screamed, "You stick that f***ing thing in me one more time and I'll break it in half and shove it up your ass!"

"Amen!" replied all the women in the congregation

Technorati Tags: Humour Joke

Dear God, it's me Curly K...

Dear God,

It's me Curly K and despite having a not too good start to my day today (sleeping in, walking in dog's doodoo etc.), things here are good. It's Friday, it's sunny and I'm off out for dinner. God, I don't mind that it's with my parents this time as I have the valid excuse that it was recently my Dad's birthday so at least I won't feel like I'm out with them because I have no-else to go out with! Also, dear God, I got some good work done today but as ever, I do wish you give me a helping hand to do a lot better. Maybe we can discuss my list of things I need assistance with, such as keeping a tidy desk, answering my emails in a timely manner, how a filing system works in practice, and how to be a motivated and effective housekeeper at your earliest convenience dear God (I do realise you're busy helping people who need serious assistance with their health etc. but really we do need to discuss the issue sooner rather than later).

Aside from that dear God, I just wanted to let you know that I'm feeling decidely chirpy this afternoon. I think I shall go out tomorrow night and hit the tiles - I'm just in the mood right now but we'll wait and see what tomorrow brings.

Whilst we're chatting dear God maybe you'd keep an eye on a acquaintance of mine, Doris, who has recently gone on a break. I do hope she enjoys it and returns soon. Also, maybe, you'd send a little ray of sunshine to another acquaintance, CatGirl, she's feeling a teensy bit glum today so maybe you'd cheer her up a little.

I also wanted to tell you that today I don't mind about being a lardy-arse, honestly, I'm focusing on my assets and keeping positive.

Well gotta go do some work. Talk soon.

Curly K

Crossing the river

Three men were hiking through a forest when they came upon a large, raging, violent river.

Needing to get on the other side, the first man prayed, "God, please give me the strength to cross the river."Poof! God gave him big arms and strong legs and he was able to swim across in about 2 hours, having almost drowned twice.

After witnessing that, the second man prayed, "God, please give me strength and the tools to cross the river."Poof! God gave him a rowboat and strong arms and strong legs and he was able to row across in about an hour after almost capsizing once.

Seeing what happened to the first two men, the third man prayed, "God, please give me the strength, the tools and the intelligence to cross this river." Poof! He was turned into a woman. She checked the map, hiked one hundred yards up stream and walked across the bridge

Technorati Tags: Humour Joke

Top Gear - you just gotta love it!

You just gotta love Top Gear. I love Clarkson, May and Hammond - the repartee amongst and the prevailing sense that making the programme is great fun! I absolutely love driving even in my crappy car (obviously my wallet likes the theory of being a car lover more than the practice!) and learning about new cars (and what I'm missing with my old VW from the last decade!). Apart from loving the topic however, I do think that Top Gear is simply fantastic television.

There you have boys, a lady wot likes cars and loves Top Gear!!

Technorati Tags: Top Gear Cars Motoring

What a weekend!

Well, landed back into Dublin Airport in the middle of the Friday afternoon rush and getting out the big smoke was a nightmare but I eventually made it home in time to rush to get the false tan on for the wedding the next day.

The wedding - what can I say - it was a great day. Despite having to bump into my ex who was nearer Mr. Right than poor old Mr. Right Now ever was. Discovered the money I'd spent on the beautiful jacket was wasted as it was such a beautiful day. Danced like a diva all night, despite being arthritic and having blisters that I'd managed to acquire whilst abroad. Drank like a fish and yet remained relatively sober all night. Had good fun with people I'd never met before and was even informed by the ex that he'd f***ed up in letting me go! Shan't read too much into the comment as a lot of drink had been consumed by that time! All in all a great day despite my dread of it prior to the big day - the dread of attending a wedding alone is omnipresent for those of us who are single.

Very tired today however, think all the flights, meetings and dancing and drinking at the wedding are catching up!

Technorati Tags: Wedding Flights Mr. Right Now Drink

Christ, no wonder there's carnage on our roads!

This post comes to you from Dublin Airport on this beautiful Tuesday morning. Boy am I glad to be here at all. Talk about taking your life in your hands driving on any main route to Dublin from anytime after 6.30am! Seriously it is no wonder that the carnage levels are rising daily. I drove sitting just touching the 100km mark on my speedometer and the amount of dangerous overtaking I witnessed on the road this morning really shocked me. I drive around the country quite a lot for work but today takes some beating. I truly hope that those lunatics that overtook two and three cars at a time today put those few extra minutes they may have gained to good use. What was the point, the traffic was really heavy, so they end up weaving like lunatics - to get there maybe ten minutes earlier? What is really aggravating is that if they'd just sat at a nice steady speed and avoided causing others to have to brake to let them in when they misjudged their overtaking distances then everyone would have been travelling at more steady speed, in a safer manner and perhaps some of the atrocities that we have witnessed on our roads recently could have been avoided.

Don't get me wrong, I don't claim to be a perfect driver but I would never overtake on bad bends, in heavy traffic across a full white line. I lost count of the number of cars I witnessed doing just that this morning.

End of rant. I'm off to to the hopefully sunny continent for work. Hopefully I shall be able to smoke in bars, buy cheap cigarettes, oh and of course, work very, very hard.

Will log on again as soon I can. Meanwhile, drive carefully out there.

Technorati Tags: Roads Carnage Driving Airport

The skinny on what's been happening with Curly K!

Briefly what's been happening with me since I last logged on is as follows:

• George Clooney still hasn't returned my phone calls - bastard!
• Have yet to lose about five stone and turn into a sex goddess - why?
• Mr. Right Now has become Mr. Gone - couldn't do it any longer, he was a lovely guy but so not for me, so I'm single again - what's new?
• Practically every female friend and acquintance I know is pregnant - seriously!
• Have a wedding to go to very soon - great!
• Found an outfit that fits and looks good for the day that is not a dress - fantastic!
• But have to go alone - shite!
• Plus my ex from just before Mr. Right Now will be there - even bigger shite!
• Will be out of the country again most of next week with work - grand
• Get to visit another place I've not yet been - brilliant!

I'll be back

Well contrary to recent rumours I was not away on some exotic island living in the lap of luxury, neither was I off getting drastic plastic done in some eastern european country. The truth of the matter, is in fact much more mundane. Between work commitments, problems with laptops, house-hunting (for a friend) and other things going on I simply haven't had a chance to get near my blog. The fact that my own blog hasn't been updated doesn't overly worry me, however, I do now feel guilty that I have not read my favourite blogs in far too long and now have some serious catching up to do:

• Has CatGirlSpeaks bought another new dress or two, what's the skinny on RH etc.?
• What wonders has little Grace Violetta brought into Omani's hectic life recently?
• How has Paige bounced back from the shitty time she had a little while ago?
• Is Mr. Doris still as wonderful as ever?
• How wonderful was Boston for Kev?
• Which news tidbits has JL dissected and commented upon for us?
• Has Connor bought a new people carrier?
• Did Maca bring Tayto, Lyons Teabags and Dennys Rashers back from Ireland?
• Has Winds settled back into normality after her fantastic trip down under?
• Who's baby has Kaz been babysitting recently?
• What in the world has Arse End of Ireland seen recently that has made her blood boil?

Alas I have learned a lesson from this break, that everything you enjoy in life comes with a price tag and blogging for me can enduce guilt if I don't manage to keep up to date with those bloggers I kept in regular contact with until recently! The break has also taught me how I deal with organise my life to certain extent. If I get on with things and keep going I'm good, however, if I put something off, it begins to niggle at me, inducing a feeling of guilt. Then I procrastinate a little longer, putting things off again, allowing tasks to become more arduous and guilt inducing.

So I have eventually taken the bull by the horns and logged on again. I will try to play catch up but have made a decision to take things slowly - I will try not to get my knickers in a twist to catch up with every minutiae from my favourite blogs.

Technorati Tags: Curly K Blogging Break Return